


Sparrows and Visions

by okami93



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-25 05:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okami93/pseuds/okami93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kahlan and Richard meet a young woman sent to protect them, their love soon faces a test they would have never imagined. Set in Season Two between the episodes 'Perdition' and 'Torn'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

This story is dedicated to my best friend (You know who you are ;D) for test reading this story and encouraging me to publish it. Thank you for being so patient with me ;)

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_**'Doubts' or 'Sparrows and Visions'** _

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**Prologue**

'Father, I can't leave you here. They will kill you!' Rachel's voice was full of despair and fear. Her father looked into her blue eyes; the eyes that reminded him of his dead wife: 'You have to go, Rachel. The soldiers I killed when we were defending our village have come back from the dead. They will be here in a few minutes and by that time you have to be on your way to the Seeker. I taught you how to fight so you could one day find the Seeker and help protect him from the evil that has come over the Midlands since the veil was torn. For the first time in months we know exactly where the Seeker is. You have to face the task you were born to take now, and without me.' 'But…!' Rachel didn't want to believe what her father was saying.

A loud knock behind her made Rachel spin around to face the door of the little farm house in which she had spent her whole life. The farm had always seemed like the safest place in the world, but now it was like a small island surrounded by a stormy sea. For some months now Rachel had felt that her home couldn't protect her from the storm outside much longer, but when Darken Rahl had been defeated, it gave her a little comfort. However, she had been aware that this small victory would only extend the quiet before the storm, but couldn't hold it off.

Now that the moment she had waited for so long came, Rachel was still overwhelmed as her father pushed her to the backdoor, telling her she had to take her horse and ride off into the forest as fast and as quietly as she could. He embraced his beloved daughter for one last time before turning away from her to face his certain death. Rachel would never forget the look in her fathers eyes: so full of love and pride at how strong his daughter was. Only when the backdoor slammed shut before her face she had the heart to take the reins of her horse which her father had tied to a fence nearby. She mounted and rode straight into the forest which lay behind their house. Rachel didn't look back, knowing that if she did, she wouldn't be able to go on.

 

XXX

 

Inside the house, the Banelings had been watching the girl flee into the woods. One of them, a man with short blonde hair, spoke in a nervous, but impatient tone: 'We can't let her escape. She  _has_ to be killed now, before she can join the Seeker and protect him. Besides, if we follow her into the woods, we will have one day at the most until the Keeper calls us back.'

Their leader, a huge man with slightly darker hair, grinned and made his way towards the back door: 'Don't you worry about that. She won't get very far. Lucky for us the Keeper won't call us back before we get her. But I wouldn't waste any time. If we catch her soon, we can still have some fun with her.' The others let out a throaty laugh before charging through the backdoor of the small house, trampling the body of the old man lying on the ground.

 

XXX

 

For two days and a night she searched the forest, but couldn't find any tracks to show her where to find the Seeker and his companions. It was in the second night, when the moon was at its highest point, that she suddenly heard voices. The hope which had left her when she sought shelter in this dark cave came back, and it was stronger than her fear of being discovered by the Banelings. As she crawled out of the cave and slowly moved into the direction where she heard the voices, Rachel's heart lightened up, because two of the voices belonged to women. 'The Mother Confessor and the Mord'Sith' she thought, now being convinced she had found what her father had asked her to. The sound of a breaking twig behind her made Rachel jump to her feet and turn around.

'Now, look who's here? No doubt you're the child this old man sent to protect the Seeker and the Confessor. And now you've led us straight to them. The Keeper will reward you!' The Baneling laughed and Rachel saw that his face was already rotting. He needed to kill someone soon and his followers didn't seem to be less bloodthirsty. Her horse bolted at the sight of the man, and Rachel let go off the reins, watching it disappear into the mist. With a cry Rachel started to run in the direction she had heard the voices of the Mother Confessor and the Mord'Sith – this was her only hope to warn them; she couldn't fight the Banelings, they were too many. But Rachel didn't get very far, she suddenly felt a pain she had never experienced before, followed by a cold spreading from her left shoulder until it reached her heart. Rachel half realised that she would die before falling to the ground, darkness surrounding her…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

'What was that?' Cara had just woken up Kahlan, who would take over the watch, and now the two women were standing together a little away from the fire talking in low voices when they heard the unfriendly voice of a man ahead. Suddenly a scream echoed in the forest and Cara, who had sharp ears, heard an arrow hit its target just a little distance in front of them. The fog however was so dense the women couldn't see what was going on. Suddenly eight men in D'Haran uniforms came running into their sight, swinging their swords. The leader cried: 'Kill the Confessor and the Mord'Sith, but leave the Seeker and the Wizard alive!' However, the three men in the front row fell down only moments after their leader had spoken. Kahlan had thrown one of her daggers at one of them and Zedd had used his Wizard's Fire to burn the other two. Richard, who was now standing at Kahlans side, saw the soldier with his bow was aiming at Kahlan, but the man never got the chance to shoot. Striken by a blast of condensed air the bowman was hurled away and didn't move anymore. After a short fight the group had finished off the other four soldiers as well. As Richard walked over to their dead bodies he found his suspicions confirmed: nearly all of the faces that stared back at him had already begun to rot; they had been banelings. Zedd started burning the corpses to make sure the soldiers would never return to the World of the Living.

Suddenly Richard stopped and stared at a tree a few paces ahead. There was the body of a woman lying lifeless on the ground.

'Come here; quickly!' Kahlan was the first to see what Richard had discovered. She sat beside the woman, trying to find out if she was still alive. An arrow was sticking out of the woman's shoulder. Kahlan examined the skin around the area where the arrow stuck in her shoulder. It was black and the colour had already spread. Kahlans expression darkened: 'The arrow was poisoned, but she may still survive. Zedd, can you do anything for her?' Before Zedd could say anything, the woman moaned and Kahlan could see her eyes moving fast under her closed eyelids.

'I have read about this once. It is some ancient poison which was used not only to kill, but to torture its victims, causing them to experience their worst fears and to live through the most evil moments of their lives. I remember a spell that might cure her, but it will take at least one hour.' The Wizard answered, his face showing signs of tension and also pity.

'Then we'll just have to hope she will survive long enough.' Richard said while taking the woman up and carrying her to the camp fire, 'But we can pull the arrow out, maybe that will slow the spreading of the poison.'

When he had gently placed the woman next to the fire, Kahlan and Cara looked at each other and nodded, each of them putting their hands on one side of the woman's shoulder to hold her down. Richard laid his hand around the arrow and with one effort pulled it out. He threw it into the fire and as he did so an evil smell filled the air.

Zedd had started muttering incantations, while Kahlan turned the women on her back after having bandaged the wound. Richard, looking at her face, now saw that she was about the same age as him. Her long blonde hair was spread on the ground around her head. She would have been beautiful if her face wouldn't have been distorted in pain at the moment. Kahlan stroked her forehead and looked even more troubled: 'Zedd, hurry up. She is feeling hot. Cara, please bring a bucket of cold water. We need to keep her temperature low as long as possible.'

'I wonder who she is, and why she came to us. She doesn't look like an ordinary woman. She must have been trained in fighting; otherwise she wouldn't have had the wits to warn us when she was encircled by Banelings.' Richard spoke aloud what he thought.

'You think she wanted to warn us by screaming? Well, it's possible. I only hope she'll be alright. ' Kahlan answered, now holding the woman's hand.

 

XXX

 

Rachel was dreaming: She saw her mother's death over and over again, until she couldn't bear it anymore and tried to run away, screaming. But suddenly she found herself next to the Banelings that had shot her. They were standing in front of her father's farmhouse and were knocking on the door. Rachel knew what would come next. The Banelings would simply destroy the door, run into the small house and then… she saw his face, the face of her father, seconds before he was stabbed. He was sinking on the floor…

Rachel's vision blurred as tears ran down her face… The scene changed again: A young man with dark hair stood in front of her. Rachel looked into his brown eyes, and the moment she did she felt like his eyes could see  _her_ , not her appearance but her soul, the person she really was. Her father had told her so often the story of the only man in the world with this kind of eyes… 'The Seeker?!' was all that Rachel could think because in this very moment the man's eyes widened in pain and he fell on the dusty ground. Rachel watched in horror as she saw a silver weapon sticking in his shoulder. She screamed again and tried to turn away from the terrifying sight, but as she did she herself fell to the ground, unable to move, while darkness was coming about her again…

 

XXX

'Zedd, I think you did it. She became silent, and the fever has gone, too.' Kahlan couldn't help her voice displaying her huge relief. For the past hour she had been sitting next to the woman, holding her hand and hoping she could comfort her in some way. Richard had put his arms around Kahlan and she was thankful for the shelter: Kahlan had often heard dying people screaming, but this had been so different, much more terrible. The woman's screams were filled with so much fear and pain, Kahlan didn't even want to think about what she already had had to live through in her life. More than once, when she felt she couldn't endure it anymore, Kahlan had gripped the woman's hand tighter and buried her face in Richards's chest.

But while her companions wanted to stay at the girl's side, trying to comfort her, Cara had taken every chance and excuse imaginable to get as far away as she could. Richard guessed that she was reminded of the people she had tortured before she had met him.

The Mord'Sith had just returned from getting more water when Zedd had finished the curing spell. Kahlan was stroking the girls head and then turned to the others: 'The poison has exhausted her, so she is going to need some rest. But she will be fine by morning.'

Cara, apparently herself again, said in a cold tone: 'And after that? She'll just slow us down, even if we onlyhave to take her to her hometown. And she can't come with us; obviously she would only be a burden, seeing she couldn't even handle a few Banelings.'

'Cara!' Kahlan suddenly burst out in an angry tone, 'how can you say this? She is just a young woman who was caught unarmed. You don't even know why she was in this forest. Probably the Banelings attacked the villagers in the town we passed yesterday before we went into the forest. What if all of her family are dead? What would you…' Kahlan stopped in the middle of her sentence because she saw the Mord'Sith turn away from her and stalk off into the darkness of the surrounding trees. Kahlan knew immediately what she had said was wrong. Cara knew as well as herself what it was like to loose everything she loved, and everyone.

'Cara, please wait. I'm sorry. I was just so upset…' Kahlan said in a low voice, tears glittering in her blue eyes. She stood up and was about to follow her friend when she felt Richard grab her arm: 'Stay. You know you won't be able to find her when she wants to be alone. I'm sure she will come back.'

Kahlan turned around to look into the eyes of the man she loved more than anything else in the world, and silent tears ran down her face. Richard embraced Kahlan and kissed her on the cheek as she fell into his arms. The screams of the young woman and the fear for her life had tired her as much as they had tired him, but he wanted to comfort Kahlan.

'Here, get some sleep. Zedd and I can watch over her.' Richard said in a soft voice, looking over to the sleeping woman.

'You are right, I do feel very tired… Thank you.' Kahlan whispered after she briefly kissed Richard. She lied down and almost immediately fell into a deep sleep.

When Richard saw she had fallen asleep he turned away from Kahlan and walked over to Zedd, who was sitting on the other side of the fire. 'Do you think she will be alright?' he asked the wizard.

'Well, as I said I've only read about this poison and under the circumstances I did my best. But who knows if it is possible to draw everything of the poison out of her body.' Zedd answered, both of them watching the woman now lying peacefully on the ground, covered in blankets. 'You must be tired, Zedd. I will take over the watch for the rest of the night.' Richard said, as he walked over to the woman to sit next to her. After Zedd's words he thought it would be best if someone kept an eye on her, should any of the poison be still in her body. As he studied her face, he found himself wondering what her name was.

 

XXX

Only three hours had passed when Richard woke up, realizing he had, for the first time on one of his watches, fallen asleep while sitting next to the young woman. The rising sun had woken him. He glanced over to Kahlan, still fast asleep, wondering if he could give her some more time to recover, when he saw Cara standing a little away from the rest of the group between the trees. Feeling his glance she turned around: 'You're lucky to have me, considering the fact you can't even stay awake on your watches.' 'Thanks for taking my watch, Cara.' Richard responded, not being able to hold back a small grin. He was thankful that Cara apparently wasn't angry at Kahlan for her outburst.

Suddenly the women lying on the ground moved. She was waking up.

'Kahlan, wake up.' Richard ran over to her. Kahlan opened her eyes in an instant, sitting upright and, looking at him, asked: 'What is…' 'I think she's waking up.' Richard answered before Kahlan could finish her sentence. She got up and ran over to the woman's side. The woman moved and then slowly opened her eyes.

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_A/N:_

_Hey guys,_

_I figured it would be better to let you read the first chapters before adding an Author's note :)_

_I hope you enjoyed it and look forward to hear what you think about the story. I want to improve my writing and am always trying to upload with as few mistakes as possible, but as you all know, mistakes still happen; feel free to point them out to me :) I have to add I am not a native speaker, so please don't be too hard on me if you come across any grammatical mistakes :) Still, corrections are very much appreciated._

_Phew, finished my first Author's Note :) Thanks for reading my story, and for (hopefully) continuing to read and review. I am not quite sure how often I will update, but I will promise you it will be regularly, as I know how unnerving it can be if you start reading a story and it's not being updated for months. (Hopefully I'll be able to update every few days, or at least once a week :))_

_Anyways, I hope you had a great New Year's Eve and wishing you all the best for 2013_

_Alex_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 2** _

 

 

The first thing Rachel saw was the face of a woman with deep blue eyes. She didn’t realize where she was, which is why Rachel immediately tried to get up, only to be pushed gently back to the ground by the woman.

‘Who are you?’ Rachel asked after finding her voice.

The woman smiled at her, and then someone else moved into her view; Rachel froze for a few seconds when she looked into the man’s eyes. They were brown… She tried to remember where she had seen those eyes before, but she didn’t have much time to do so, as the woman started talking to her: ‘It’s alright. You are safe here. The Banelings are gone.’

Hearing this, Rachel’s eyes widened as the memories of the last days came crushing down on her; and now she became aware that the man was the Seeker and the woman sitting next to her was the Mother Confessor.

A single tear ran down her face; both because Rachel was relieved that she had found the people she had looked for but also because she was exhausted. She felt the woman’s hand holding hers, and it gave her a little comfort.

‘Who are you? And why did you come to us?’ the Seeker asked, his dark eyes finding Rachel’s.

She didn’t know why this made her heart beat faster.

Rachel sat up after assuring the Confessor that she was able to. She started telling them everything that had happened since she had left her home and why she had been sent to find the Seeker.

There was only one thing she didn’t talk about: her nightmares after she was shot. She didn’t want to think about it, and although it seemed that for the moment she was safe, Rachel felt this was something she didn’t want to share with people that were still strangers to her.

‘So, how did you find me?’ Rachel asked them. Kahlan answered: ‘We heard you scream and then the Banelings attacked us. After we killed them, Richard went over to examine the corpses. He saw what they were, and also that you were lying a few paces away.  The arrow that hit you was poisoned, so Zedd used a curing spell to help you.’ ‘Kahlan didn’t leave your side until you finally slept,’ Richard added, ‘but I fear we won’t have much time to stay here. Can you walk?’

Rachel tried to get up, but as she did so black and white dots blurred her vision and she swayed, feeling dizzy. Richard caught her just in time to prevent Rachel from falling. As his arms closed around her, she felt a warmth she had never felt before, but she pushed the feeling away immediately.

Rachel took a step back, out of his arms, not wanting to show her weakness, but at the same time reluctant to leave this man’s embrace: ‘It’s okay. I was just a little dizzy. I can walk.’

Kahlan looked worried: ‘Are you sure? We could stay here a while longer.’

‘No, please, I don’t want to cause any more trouble. Besides, I am feeling much better already.’ Rachel tried to smile, although she knew the Confessor could see she wasn’t quite honest.

Kahlan opened her mouth to protest as a voice behind her said: ‘Well, it looks like we have a new party member. What’s your name?’

A man had stepped behind Kahlan and Richard. He would have looked like an ordinary old man if he hadn’t been wearing a magicians robe. ‘Rachel; it is an honour to meet you’ the woman answered a little intimidated when she realized this was the First Wizard Zorrander. The three looked at each other smiling when they heard Rachel’s name. Rachel herself had a puzzled look on her face, which caused Kahlan to explain what had made them smile: ‘We met a little girl once that was held prisoner in the castle of the Queen of Tamarang. She helped Zedd to steal the third Box of Orden. Her name was Rachel.’

‘So, now that you have finished your fireside tales, could we leave? We shouldn’t give the Banelings another chance to attack us by night.’ Rachel turned around to face the woman that had said this. Seeing her red leather suit made clear to her that this was the Mord’Sith that helped the Seeker defeat Darken Rahl.

‘Rachel, this is Cara. She is the one who helped Richard complete his quest.’ Kahlan introduced, trying to hide the tension in her voice. She clearly felt unsure how Rachel would react to a Mord’Sith.

Rachel, seeing the look in the Mord’Sith’s eyes, decided it was best not to try and shake her hand. Her reaction did not go unnoticed and made a small grin appear on Richard’s and Kahlan’s faces. ‘Well, Cara is right. We should get going.’ Richard said. The group took up their bags and together with Rachel left their camp.

 

XXX

 

‘Where are we going now?’ Rachel asked Kahlan after a few hours in which the group had walked in silence through the woods, each of them following their own thoughts.

‘We are following the compass we found in a grave in Pamorah. In the hands of the Seeker it will show us the way to the Stone of Tears.’ Kahlan answered.

After another hour or so, Richard, who had been walking in front of them, said: ‘I think we should stop here for a quick meal. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving as we didn’t get a chance for breakfast this morning.’ This brought him an appreciative smile from Zedd as the group walked over to a near glade. Zedd sat on a log next to Richard and Cara decided to scout the area in order to make sure there were no enemies around. Kahlan was busy unpacking some food they had bought in the last town, so Rachel sat next to Richard. He was watching the Confessor with a soft look in his eyes and didn’t speak for quite a while. ‘He always does that. You’d better get used to it.’ Cara had returned from her exploration and approached Rachel and the others. Zedd smiled and Rachel, who had immediately stiffened at the sound of a voice from behind her, relaxed again.

As Rachel saw the Sword of Truth leaning against the log they were sitting on, the realization of her being weaponless hit her like a lightning bolt. ‘Oh no!’ she said aloud.

Zedd asked her: ‘What is it, Rachel?’ ‘I just realized I left my sword in the cave I hid in before I found you last night. I don’t have any weapons with me.’

‘Nothing to worry about, dear. If I remember correctly, there is a village just behind this forest. We would have to stop there either way to pick some provisions so you might as well visit a blacksmith.’

Rachel nodded thankfully: ‘I just don’t feel safe without something to defend myself with.’

Kahlan had apparently overheard the conversation. She got up and took out one of her daggers that were hidden in her boots: ‘Take this until then.’ Rachel shook her head at first and tried to protest: ‘No, I can’t. You are much more important …’ But seeing the determined look in Kahlan’s face, she had to realize the Confessor wouldn’t accept a ‘No’, so Rachel gave up and took the dagger. ‘Thank you… I only wish I wouldn’t be such a burden to you. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to repay you.’

‘It’s alright, Rachel.’ Richard smiled, laying a hand on Rachel’s arm, hoping to comfort her. As she felt his hand on her arm and looked into these beautiful, gentle eyes, she couldn’t help but smile back. Kahlan, who hadn’t seen this silent exchange, handed each of them some fruits and a piece of bread before sitting down next to Rachel. The group ate in silence and when they had finished, they shouldered their bags again.

Rachel felt a lot better after having eaten something for the first time in two days. She walked beside Cara for a while, avoiding to get too close to Richard. She wasn’t quite sure why she felt so strange every time he looked at her.

Kahlan, Zedd and Richard were walking just a few paces ahead, so Cara’s voice was barely more than a whisper: ‘Whatever it is you thought you were doing before when looking at the Seeker like this, be aware that the Mother Confessor is not the type of person you want to mess with.’ Rachel almost stopped short, thinking she had misunderstood the Mord’Sith’s words, but the look in Cara’s eyes made it quite clear that she had meant exactly what she had said. Rachel, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable, rushed off to walk next to the others. Kahlan looked at Rachel and raised an eyebrow: ‘Something wrong?’ Rachel, being well aware of the Confessor’s ability to sense lies, looked away into the forest and answered, a little too fast: ‘No, it’s alright.’ Kahlan and Richard exchanged meaningful glances. ‘If Cara is trying to scare Rachel away, I will have to talk to her. We have to be grateful for every help we can get.’ Richard whispered, so that only Kahlan could hear him.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 3** _

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A few hours later, when the sun was already setting, the group came to a cliff, which was rising steeply to their right. A huge overhang with fallen stones at the left and right side created something that looked almost like a cave.

'This looks like a good shelter for tonight.' Zedd said. Richard agreed: 'If we stop here now, we can start earlier tomorrow. Kahlan, Rachel and I will search the area. We can collect some firewood, too.' Despite Cara rolling her eyes, the three went off immediately, leaving Zedd and the Mord'Sith alone.

 

XXX

 

Richard, Kahlan and Rachel hadn't gone very far when they found themselves looking upon a small, but beautiful lake, which had been quite shielded from view by some huge ferns. Rachel couldn't take her eyes off the water glistening in a dark blue. 'I would love to take a bath' she said, remembering she hadn't been able to take one since the day she had run from her home… the day her father died.

The memories brought back the pain she had felt and Rachel was lost in her thoughts when Kahlan's voice brought her back to reality: 'Why don't you go in first while we head back to camp to fetch some towels? I could bring you a fresh dress I have in my pack, too.' Rachel answered a little distracted: 'Yes, that would be nice. Thank you.' Only when she had finished her sentence Rachel realized that Kahlan and Richard had already left, apparently not wanting to give her the chance to protest against the Confessor lending her a dress. She couldn't help but smile a little.

She was so happy to be able to take a bath after three days that Rachel jumped right into the lake barefooted, but still wearing her dress. She dived a few times, then got out of the water and took off her now soaked green dress, only to get back into the lake and let herself float just under the surface of the cool water.

After another few minutes she turned around and swam back to where she had entered the lake. As Rachel approached the stony shore she found a towel lying a few paces away next to a gorgeous dress made of royal blue fabric. Rachel, after drying her body and hair, put on the dress. The fabric felt light on her skin, but it still kept her warm despite the low temperature of the lake she had just left. Rachel put on the light grey leather belt and her brown boots to head back towards their camp.

A few steps away, behind the line of ferns, she found Kahlan sitting next to Richard with her back against a tree trunk. The Confessor had been sharpening her dagger when she heard Rachel's footsteps. She looked up and smiled at her: 'I knew it would look better on you than on me.' Rachel blushed.

Richard, who had apparently not wanted to look at Rachel at first, couldn't help but lift his eyes at Kahlan's comment. Rachel really looked adorable, her blue eyes and blonde hair were being emphasized by the dark blue of the dress which fitted her perfectly. And suddenly, when Rachel looked at him, she saw something in Richard's eyes that made her turn around to hide the fact of her cheeks becoming even redder. Without another word she hurried back to camp.

Rachel had seen something in his eyes that had only appeared when Richard watched Kahlan… until now. His eyes had always reflected how much he loved Kahlan, and now he had looked at Rachel in the same way, even though it was just for a second. Rachel wasn't even sure if Richard himself had realized it, but seeing this look in his eyes brought Cara's words back into Rachel's mind. Was it her fault the Seeker looked at her like that? Just because of one short glance Rachel had given him? Now she remembered the warmth that had filled her body when Richard had held her in his arms. He couldn't have felt the same way, when his love for Kahlan was so strong. But something inside Rachel reminded her that he had always returned her looks. Deeply confused she only slowed her pace when the camp came in sight.

 

XXX

 

'She is such a nice girl' Kahlan said, pity in her voice, while watching Rachel walk away. 'I hope she is alright. You know, I am a little worried about her… look at everything she's been through. And all because of us…' Her voice broke and a single tear ran down Kahlan's cheek, but Richard wiped it away gently with his thumb: 'Kahlan, I know how you feel, but it's not your fault. Rachel risked her life and went through all of this because of me.' Richard left it unspoken, but looking in his eyes Kahlan saw that he felt guilty. She kissed him gently and forced herself to smile, trying to take away his sorrow for a short moment.

'I only hope we can help her. It's the least we can do.' Richard said. He got up and took Kahlan's hand to help her up, too. 'You take your bath and I will go back to camp and tell Cara she can come next.' With that, Richard left.

After all of them had finished bathing the group sat around the small fire while eating some bread and a bit of roasted meat.

Zedd agreed to take the first watch, claiming that he would rather stay up longer than being woken in the middle of the night. Actually, he wanted some time for himself to think about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, including the glances he had seen Rachel and Richard exchange. He had to find answers to so many questions, too: How the Banelings had come by this old poison and why they had been chasing a single woman. If Rachel was correct, they had chased her for more than two days, in a forest, where there were no people they could kill to stay alive. That meant the Keeper had given them the time they needed to catch Rachel, but it left the question why he had done it. Why was this woman so important?

'Zedd, wake me up in a few hours. I'll take the next watch.' Richard said before getting into his bedroll. Zedd, called out of his thoughts by his voice, only nodded.

 

XXX

 

It was just before midnight when Rachel woke with a start, gasping and sweating. She had had a nightmare about her father's death again. It took her a few moments to realize where she was. She looked up and saw Richard sitting a few paces away with his back to her. It was still his watch. Rachel relaxed a little and tried to tell herself everything was alright, but after not being able to get back to sleep for a long while she got up and grabbed a spare blanket.

She walked over to Richard, wrapping the blanket around her. When he heard her, Richard turned his head and gave her a worried and questioning look. Before he could ask however, Rachel said: 'It's alright, don't worry. I just can't sleep. Do you mind if I sit here for a while?' 'Of course not' Richard tried to smile at her.

Rachel nodded thankfully and sat next to him. Richard didn't believe that she was alright, but he didn't want to press Rachel to talk about it if she didn't want to.

Instead, he looked at her from the side, trying to figure out what was wrong. The soft moonlight made her look a little pale, but her face was still beautiful. As Richard saw a single tear running down her face, he felt the strong desire to comfort her, to touch her beautiful skin. He gently wiped the tear away, and when Rachel finally looked into his face he felt guilty and sad at the same time.

'Rachel, I can't undo all the terrible things that happened to you and your family, but from now on I … I mean, we will protect you' he whispered. Rachel suddenly realized his hand was still resting on her face, but it felt too good to pull it away, so she leaned her head against his chest, just enjoying the comfort it gave her. Richard smiled when he felt Rachel's breath becoming slower after some time. He sat still for a while and, when he was sure she was fast asleep, carried her back to her bedroll, careful not to make any sound that could wake Rachel.

After tucking her under the blanket, Richard woke Cara before making his way to his own bedroll.

Richard lay awake for many hours, images of Rachel's soft features when she had fallen asleep with her head against his chest flooding his mind until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there,   
> thanks for reading this :) I hope you liked it. Please leave a review if possible.   
> Wishing you a great day  
> Alex


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 4** _

 

After a short breakfast the group left their shelter and walked for several hours, always following the compass.

Zedd, who was walking with Richard, soon noticed how silent his grandson was. 'Is everything alright, boy?' he asked.

Richard had been staring off into the distance and was now startled out of his thoughts: 'What? Sure, everything's fine. I was just …thinking.'

Zedd, knowing he wouldn't get any more information out of Richard, didn't ask anymore. He knew his grandson well enough to guess what or rather  _who_  he was thinking of, and this didn't quiet the wizard's worries at all:

_If Richard and Rachel develop feelings for each other it might turn out just as disastrous to our quest as Kahlan accidentally confessing Richard. I can't imagine what Kahlan would do if she saw the truth in Rachel's eyes. Kahlan has always put duty over her personal feelings until now. She knows it would be better for Richard to find another woman and that she herself will eventually have to find a mate to continue the line of Confessors, but they can't live without each other. Kahlan couldn't bear to stay at Richard's side when he is with Rachel, but she could never abandon him because of his quest. Kahlan still has no control over the Con Dar… what if she fell into it and Richard couldn't stop her anymore because he was the reason for it? We might all be confessed. It's too dangerous for all of us. I have to talk to Rachel and convince her to stay away from Richard. But then again, when she has suffered so much because of us, how can I ask her to sacrifice the only thing that gives her hope?_

All these thoughts were going through the wizard's head. He didn't know, but a few meters behind, Cara was thinking in a similar way.

Kahlan, who was walking behind Richard and Zedd with Cara and Rachel at her side, looked at the latter: 'What is it?'

Rachel had been quiet the whole morning and Kahlan found it strange. After a few moments she finally looked at Kahlan.

'Oh, don't worry. I just didn't sleep very well, that's all…' Rachel replied a little absentmindedly.

Kahlan was confused: she could tell Rachel was not lying – she really looked tired – but she felt like she was not telling everything. 'Was it a nightmare?' Kahlan guessed.

'How did you know?' Rachel seemed surprised.

Kahlan tried to explain it: 'Well, Zedd said this might be a side effect of the poison.' 'Oh, right.' Rachel looked like she didn't want to talk about it, and Kahlan had a feeling it was because Cara was nearby.

Although Rachel knew about her loyalty to Richard, a Mord'Sith walking next to her was obviously something she wasn't used to. Kahlan couldn't blame her for that: After all, it had taken her many weeks until she stopped sleeping with her daggers under her pillow.

 

XXX

 

At sundown the group made up their camp on a small glade. It was a warm evening which seemed to lighten everyone's mood; even Cara took part in the conversations. It was near midnight when Kahlan decided to take the first watch and everyone else finally went to bed. Rachel, however, stayed awake for a long time, thinking about everything that had happened; the images of her nightmares were still haunting her and keeping her from falling asleep.

After more than an hour Rachel got up and sat down next to Kahlan: 'I can take your watch if you want to. I won't be able to sleep; not yet, anyway.'

'Thanks, Rachel.' Kahlan replied with a smile that was not convincing at all.

Rachel thought the Confessor looked sad, and her curiosity won, so she asked 'Why aren't you going to sleep then?'

'Honestly, I can't sleep either', Kahlan replied, but before Rachel could ask any more she continued, 'so you might as well tell me what's bothering you. Is it because of your nightmares?'

Rachel, surprised by the sudden question, fell silent for a few moments.

In the end, however, she began telling Kahlan about her nightmares; Kahlan listened quietly all the time. Rachel only stopped speaking when she had told her everything… apart from her vision of the Seeker's death. She saw him falling to the ground lifeless before her inner eye, and suddenly felt like it was all too much for her. All the fear and the pain Rachel had so desperately tried to ignore the past few days threatened to come to the surface.

Rachel found it suddenly hard to control her breathing.

She tried to look calmer than she was, but Kahlan, who could sense her distress, still put an arm around Rachel.

She understood her so well; how she felt lost with all her family dead, how it must have been to live through her worst nightmares over and over again. Hearing Rachel talk about all that, the memories of her own past overcame Kahlan: her mother's death and the horrible years when their father had used them for his own profit, the news that her sister was dead, along with all the other remaining Confessors… and the countless times she had feared for Richard's life - too often when she hadn't been able to help him… Her sight began to swim when she pulled Rachel into a hug, tears running down her face.

 

XXX

 

Some time later, Kahlan remembered she had to wake Cara who would take over the next watch. Rachel was sitting next to her, her gaze fixed on the trees in front of her. 'Rachel, you should sleep now. It was a long day and you are still exhausted from the poison.'

Rachel looked at her and whispered in a husky voice: 'You are right.'

She got to her feet, feeling cold and tired. Before she went to bed she turned around once more: 'Kahlan?'

The Confessor looked up at her.

'Thank you. For everything.' Kahlan just smiled a little in response.

'Should I wake Cara?'

'No, Rachel. I will do it. Just sleep now.' Rachel was glad Kahlan understood her so well and when she lied down, she fell asleep almost immediately.

When she saw Rachel lying down, Kahlan waited a few moments before walking over to Cara to wake her. The Mord'Sith saw the tears still glistening in Kahlan's eyes, but thankfully didn't ask any questions while she got up to take over watch.

 


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 5** _

__

It was only a few hours after they had set out when the group finally came to the outskirts of the forest. They found themselves looking upon a wide plain where the grass was almost waist-high in some places. A plain path lead to a small village a few miles away. 'I wouldn't mind sleeping in a real bed for a change. We should stay at an inn tonight.' Zedd said, causing Kahlan and Richard to grin at each other.

'You are right, Zedd. We need to buy some supplies anyway and it will be late afternoon until we get there.' Richard answered.

'If we have to walk over this plain I say we should do it quickly. We are an easy target out here.' Cara said, walking off. The others still followed her and Richard at a leisurely pace, seeing there was nothing on the street apart from a few wagons and peasants.

The group reached the village while the sun was still in the sky and soon found an inn for the night.

After they had divided the rooms, Cara, Rachel, Kahlan and Richard went off to buy supplies. They didn't have to search for long until they found a small food store at the main street. 'Kahlan, why don't you and Cara go fetch everything we need here while Rachel and I will search for a blacksmith?' Richard proposed. Cara didn't seem too happy about having to help with the groceries, but Kahlan nodded: 'Sure, we can meet at the inn for supper; if Zedd has left us anything.' With a smile she turned around and entered the shop.

 

XXX

 

Once they were on their way, Rachel instinctively reached for Kahlan's dagger which she had hidden inside one of her boots, but Richard laid his hand on her arm: 'Don't. We would only attract the people's attention.' 'Right, sorry.' Rachel smiled at him remorsefully.

Just a few minutes later they stood in front of a blacksmith's shop. The door opened and a huge man came out, untying the leather apron he wore. 'How can I help you? Speak quickly; I have got a sword in the furnace.' He said in a low, but not too unfriendly voice. 'We need a sword.' Richard answered before Rachel could open her mouth.

'But you already have one…' The man's eyes wandered to the Sword of Truth in its sheath at Richard's side. Realization dawned in his eyes: 'You can't be the Seeker?' Richard grasped the hilt of his sword, ready to defend himself and Rachel, but the blacksmith gestured towards his shop: 'My name is Logan. Come in, please. I would be happy to help you. I've heard what you have done for us.'

Richard relaxed slightly, and, seeing that, Rachel was reassured they could trust the man. They followed him inside and Logan immediately began picking up his best swords. 'If I may ask, Sir: Why do you need another sword?'

'Not me. It's Rachel here who needs one.'

Richard tilted his head in her direction and Logan's eyes widened in surprise; he almost dropped the swords he already held in his hands.

'I guess you'll be needing a lighter one then.' Logan said. He handed a sword to Rachel: 'It's one of the lightest and finest I've ever made.'

Rachel took it and immediately felt comfortable with the blade. 'You can try it out in the court behind my house.' Logan said while pointing to a back door. 'Just come back here if you are done. I have to forge this new sword now.'

Richard and Rachel went through the door. They found themselves in a courtyard that was big enough to try new weapons. 'If you really want to know how good the sword is, there is nothing better to do than a bit of sword fighting.' Richard grinned at Rachel, drawing his sword. Rachel smiled back and was already swinging her sword towards his head before Richard had time to realize what she was doing. He countered at the last moment and the two quickly became engaged in a mock fight.

 

XXX

 

Ten minutes later, Rachel was standing in front of Richard, their swords crossed. They put down their weapons at the same moment, realizing they were equal. Richard gave Rachel an admiring smile which showed he was surprised by her fighting skills.

'Did you really think you were no match for a woman like me?' Rachel said, grinning mischievously, looking him straight into the eyes.

'I have to admit you surprised me.' Richard answered, his face still only inches from hers. As Rachel felt his admiration she suddenly couldn't hold herself back anymore and moved forward, driven by the desire to kiss him. But before she could, she felt Richard's lips on hers. A warmth that had nothing to do with their long fight spread from her toes right up to her head, and she began to feel dizzy.

She closed her eyes, but even as she did so, Rachel remembered Kahlan; she forced herself to step back, out of Richard's warm embrace in the same instant as he stepped back, a similiar thought entering his mind. 'This is wrong' she whispered, her eyes still closed. Richard just stood there, thunderstruck, for a few moments before he spoke, his voice trembling: 'I am sorry. You... are right.' But Rachel didn't answer; she turned on her heels and went for the door.

Inside the blacksmith's shop, she almost ran into Logan. 'Are you alright? What do you think of the sword?' 'What... It's good. I will take it, thank you.' Rachel answered absentmindedly. Before she knew what she was doing, she was outside on the street again, fighting back the tears.

_This can't be_  …  _But why did he kiss me if he loves Kahlan? Is it my fault?_  Rachel forced herself to concentrate on her surroundings. The tears that filled her eyes blurred her vision and she didn't remember the way back to the inn, but she ran off nonetheless. Rachel didn't want to have to face Richard now.

She was walking quickly through the streets, when suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder, just were the arrow had hit her a few nights before. She gasped, black and white spots blurring her sight. Rachel leaned against the nearest wall, breathing heavily, trying to regain control over her body. It took a few moments until the pain subsided, just as fast as it had come, and Rachel found she could go on, if only at a slow pace.

The village was not very big, but there were a lot of ways branching off the main street, some even broader than the main street itself, so it took Rachel a while to get back to the inn. Standing in front of it, Rachel took a deep breath to calm her expression before she went in.

 

XXX

 

Richard had followed Rachel through the blacksmith's shop. He thanked Logan briefly for the sword and as he left the house he caught a glimpse of Rachel running down the street. He didn't follow her. Richard walked off into the opposite direction, and wandered through the village aimlessly, trying desperately to work out what had just happened and why.

It was already dark when he finally went back to the inn. Inside, Cara, Zedd and Kahlan were sitting at a table in a quiet corner. He walked up to them, trying to cover his real emotions as best as he could.

When the three looked up at him, Richard let himself fall on a chair. Despite the storm that was raging inside him, he forced himself to ask in a calm voice: 'Isn't Rachel back yet? She said she wanted to look around for a while, so I went off telling her we could meet here.'

'She came back an hour ago, but went to her room. She looked tired.' Kahlan answered, the tension in her voice already evident.

'Oh, alright then,' was all that Richard said; this caused Kahlan to throw an angry glance at him. 'That's all you have to say? Why did you let her go on her own? You know it's dangerous!' she snapped. 'Hey, she isn't exactly defenceless. She had her sword, and after seeing how she can fight, I didn't think she needed that much protection. There's no reason to snap at me.' Richard sounded injured and Kahlan immediately regretted her reaction. 'You're right; I'm sorry. I was just worried about Rachel… and you, because you were gone so long' Richard's expression softened as he took Kahlan's hand in his, a silent promise that he would never do it again.

 

XXX

 

About an hour later, Kahlan decided to go to bed. She had been quiet since Richard and Rachel had come back, deep in her own thoughts, trying to find an explanation for their behaviour.

She shared a room with Rachel, so she went in as quietly as she could. Rachel was lying in her bed, her back turned towards the door. She heard Kahlan's soft footsteps, but acted as if she was asleep. The last thing she wanted at the moment was having to talk to the Confessor, knowing she would never be able to hide the events of earlier that day from her.

Kahlan silently put on her night gown and went to her bed, but she couldn't sleep. When Rachel had returned and explained to them she was simply tired and wanted to go to bed, Kahlan hadn't needed her Confessor powers to tell her it wasn't the truth. As Rachel obviously didn't want to talk about it, Kahlan had not argued with her.

And now Kahlan thought about what could have happened to Rachel to cause her to lie to them. It must have happened while she had been with Richard… A thought entered her mind that she didn't like at all: the way Richard had looked at Rachel when he had seen her in the blue dress... Kahlan's heart clenched when she suddenly realized there was only  _one_  explanation. She sat upright in her bed, and when she looked at Rachel at the other side of the room, she felt a mixture of sadness and anger at everything and everyone. Kahlan felt she couldn't stay in this room anymore. She needed space and air, so she grabbed her boots standing near her bed along with her travelling cloak and ran out of the room head over heels, not caring if she had woken Rachel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there,
> 
> I actually planned to post this yesterday, but couldn't find the time to do it, so here it is.
> 
> I hope not too many of you are mad at me for taking this story the way it went now. This is a chapter I didn't revise very often, it more or less 'wrote itself'; it just felt right in a way.
> 
> Before many of you stop reading my story, please give me a chance to explain (and from here on I will not avoid spoilers, so if you are open to a new idea like I had and don't want to spoil the fun for yourself, don't read anymore!)
> 
> I know how this plot will sound to you: A woman coming along and simply snatching Richard away from Kahlan. But I would like to explain I never intended it to be this simple. Richard is not under any kind of 'love spell'; but I do believe (and I am sure you will agree) there are different kinds of love. And the nature of Richard and Rachel's love is different from Richard and Kahlans. I am confident it will become clear in the upcoming chapters that Richard falls in love with Rachel because he wants to protect her and to show her a new life; I don't think his protective nature is out of character, unless I missunderstood the whole series and the first two books; Rachel in turn falls for him because of her difficult past. This story will be about how Richard, Rachel and Kahlan deal with their feelings (love, guilt, despair, hope...) and about finding out the reasons behind Richard and Rachel falling in love.
> 
> I would also like to say I am a great fan of Richard and Kahlan, and I sincerely hope you will find the ending (and the rest) of the story satisfying.  
> Although I tried to warn about the way this story would go in the summary, I am sorry if any of you don't want to continue reading.
> 
> I hope you will give this story a chance and read the rest of it before you judge it like this; after all the idea of Richard or Kahlan falling in love with someone else isn't completely new. Maybe I am wrong here, but I remember a lot of Kahlan/Cara fanfictions and they were mostly appreciated (as far as I can say); I would say the difference between these stories and mine isn't that big. Of course this is all a matter of taste, but if you didn't go against the K/C stories, please give mine a chance, too.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this.
> 
> Still wishing you a wonderful day,
> 
> Alex


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 6_ **

****

****

Not long after Kahlan had gone to bed, Richard, Cara and Zedd went upstairs, too. The Mord'Sith seemed quite satisfied to have a room of her own and went off without a word.

Richard couldn't sleep. He turned around in his bed, but every time he shut his eyes he saw Rachel, the guilty look on her face right after they had kissed. Richard knew it had been his fault. When Rachel had come closer to him, he should have backed away or said something; but he had kissed her instead.

He remembered the warmth he had felt at that moment. But it had been different than the feelings he had for Kahlan. He just wasn't able to place it, which frustrated him. How should he tell Kahlan if he didn't know himself what was going on?

He got up, just wanting to get out of the room, when he heard Zedd's voice: 'Richard, what is it?'

'Nothing, I just need some air.' Richard wanted nothing more than to get away from everyone, but Zedd didn't give up: 'Come, tell me.' The wizard had sat up and Richard turned around to face him. 'I may be old, but I am no fool. You haven't slept a second since you went to bed. Obviously something happened today between you and Rachel.' Richard sat down on his bed and tried to deny the fact that Zedd had guessed rightly. His grandfather however – knowing Richard all too well - didn't let go: 'I see there is something troubling you. If not for yourself, tell me what's going on for their sake.' Although the Wizard didn't say it, Richard knew he was talking about Kahlan and Rachel.  
Richard didn't say anything for a few minutes, but eventually his frustration won over his guilt: 'We were at this blacksmith's shop. He said he would be glad to help the Seeker, and handed Rachel a sword. We went out into a small court and sparred to test if the sword was alright. And suddenly… we were standing so close to each other… and when I looked into her face, I … I don't know what I was thinking…We kissed but then she just ran off, saying it wasn't right…' Richard trailed off and he saw a mix of sadness and understanding in the wizard's face.

When Zedd finally spoke, his voice sounded far older than he was: 'I knew it. I knew when I saw her looking at you, and when you were smiling back. I have thought about talking to both of you, but apparently it's too late now.'

Richard had tears in his eyes: 'Zedd, I don't know what I was doing… I always thought Kahlan was the only one I could ever love, and she is but …when I look at Rachel… I should never have kissed her, and it was different somehow, but for this few moments it felt…right.'

Zedd stood up and went over to sit beside Richard, laying a hand on his grandson's shoulders: 'I am sorry, my boy, but you have to figure this out before it's too late. Talk to Kahlan; explain it to her before her trust in you is shattered. You two are meant for each other.'

'I never doubted our love, but I don't think I even deserve her love anymore, after what happened before.' Richard mumbled, more to himself.

Zedd sighed: 'I can't help you with this. I know Kahlan… it would be difficult for her to accept if you chose Rachel, but ultimately she will stay with you on your quest. She knows you need her just as much as she needs you.'

'Zedd, you know I could never leave Kahlan. I never would. But that exactly is the problem. I love her, but at the same time I... I care for Rachel, just maybe in a different way, but I still do. I just wish I knew what this all meant...' His voice trailed off into silence, the frustration clearly showing in his eyes.

'I have to say, you seem to have a weak spot for women who come running into your life.' Zedd said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Richard got up and smiled tiredly at Zedd: 'Maybe…I think I still need some air. But thanks for trying to help me.' 'Of course, my boy.'

Just as Richard left the room he heard another door being slammed shut at his right. He turned around, but only caught a glimpse of Kahlan running down the staircase. Richard swallowed and then ran after her.

Richard followed Kahlan through the dark streets. She had hidden her face under the hood of her cloak and many people threw suspicious glances at her. When Kahlan finally stopped they were standing in a small, but empty courtyard with a decorative fountain in its centre.

'What are you doing here?' Kahlan's voice was low, but she didn't turn around to look at Richard, who had stopped dead a few feet behind her. 'Kahlan…' Richard hesitantly took a step closer to her; she didn't react, which he took as a silent permission to walk up to her.

Kahlan hadn't removed her hood, but from the side Richard saw her struggle to remain her calm Confessor face. Her eyes were still fixed on the water that was glistening in the soft moonlight when she whispered: 'Tell me what happened.'

So she  _had_  figured it out.

'Kahlan…' Richard started again, 'I made a terrible mistake.' His voice left him when Kahlan turned her head to look into his eyes. 'You kissed her.' she stated, trying to remain calm.

The look on his face told her she had guessed rightly; but her insides still clenched painfully when he nodded. 'I am so sorry. I should have told you earlier, but…' 'You don't know where your heart lies.' Kahlan whispered, but - just like before - it wasn't a question. When Kahlan looked into his brown eyes and saw the guilt and the pain in it, she felt her inner defences falling to pieces.

Richard felt at a loss of words, but he needed to explain: 'Kahlan, it isn't like that. I love you, you know I do. With all my heart, no matter what is going on right now. I don't understand it myself what this means...'

A tear ran down her face: 'You know, I can't even blame you if you choose her. You deserve a normal life, Richard.'

The lump in his throat made it almost impossible to speak, so he whispered: 'Kahlan, I want you to know that I love you. But I … we – all of us – need time to work this out. I know it's a lot to ask, maybe too much, but can you understand it?' Kahlan only nodded, and more tears ran down her face. Richard embraced her and whispered into her ear: 'Thank you.'

After a while, Kahlan took a step back, out of his warm embrace. 'I need some time for myself.' she said in a low voice, and she saw in Richard's eyes that he understood. Without another word Kahlan left.

 

XXX

 

When she came back to the inn and went upstairs, she found Cara and Zedd standing in the corridor in front of their rooms. They had talked in low voices, but fell silent the moment they saw Kahlan. 'If you want to talk…' Zedd addressed Kahlan in a soft voice, but she interrupted him, suddenly angry at the old wizard, her voice louder than she had intended: 'No, I  _don't_ want to talk to you. Just leave me alone.'

With that she yanked the door to her room open and vanished inside, not bothering to close it silently. Kahlan leaned against the door, breathing heavily, more tears running down her face. She was so lost in her anger and frustration that it took a few minutes before Kahlan realized Rachel was standing in the middle of the room. Her face was expressionless, but she wore her green dress and had her pack in her left hand. 'What are you doing?' Kahlan asked in a husky voice.

'I am leaving.' Rachel answered. Before Kahlan could ask her anything, she continued: 'What I did was wrong, and I am sorry for it. The only way to fix this is for me to leave. You are made for each other, and I won't loose the only real friend I've ever had for a love that isn't supposed to be.'

Kahlan couldn't help but feel sorry for Rachel and all that had happened to this young woman: 'This isn't your fault, Rachel. I am sad, but not because of what you did. It's because I  _know_  you would be better for him. You could live a normal live, and both of you deserve that, after all you sacrificed. You could have children; this is something I can never give him. But if you leave now, before Richard has had the chance to make this decision, it won't help anyone. I owe him the chance to decide for himself with whom he wants to be. So I ask you to stay… not for me, but for him.' Rachel was standing in front of Kahlan in a heartbeat and hugged her. 'I am so sorry for doing this to you. I wish I could just bury my feelings, because I know how much you love him, but I can't… I just can't…' She whispered, her body trembling. Kahlan just stood there, helpless. She didn't want to loose Rachel as her friend either, but at the moment, it felt impossible to stay near her. Kahlan gripped Rachel's arms softly, but her movements were determined when she freed herself from the embrace and turned around. Rachel didn't resist. Kahlan threw an excusing glance at her: 'I am sorry. I have to go… I hope you understand it.' With that, she left Rachel in her room. Kahlan tried to free her expressions of any emotion and knocked hesitantly on the door of Cara's room. 'What?' The Mord'Sith hissed after opening the door. Apparently she hadn't slept either until now, as she still wore her leathers. Kahlan swallowed and asked: 'Can I sleep in your room? You have another bed in there, don't you?'

Before Cara could answer, Kahlan had crossed the threshold and was standing in the room, still wearing her cloak and boots over her white nightgown. The Mord'Sith rolled her eyes, but didn't object. Even she felt it would be too much to ask of Kahlan to sleep in one room with a woman that had fallen in love with Richard and – from what Zedd had told her – vice versa.

Kahlan was grateful for the quietness of Cara. She didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. She got rid of her boots and cloak, lied down in the second bed and closed her eyes, desperately trying to shut out her emotions. She was so exhausted that it didn't take long until Kahlan fell asleep. The last thing she heard was an unnerved release of breath from Cara when she let herself fall on the other bed.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hey there,
> 
> if you're reading this, apparently you stayed with my story despite the way it went, so thanks for for that :)
> 
> Looking forward to your reviews as always
> 
> Alex


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 7_ **

****

****

Kahlan woke shortly after sunrise. Seeing that Cara had already left the room, the Confessor hurried to get ready and went downstairs.

Down in the small dining room Kahlan only found Cara. 'Where are…' Kahlan had wanted to ask where Richard, Zedd and Rachel were, but she felt a lump in her throat thinking about them, so she stopped midsentence for a second and finished '…the others?'

The Mord'Sith raised an eyebrow at the distressed looking Confessor, and - for a brief moment - Kahlan thought she saw something similar to  _pity_  in Cara's eyes, but when she told her they were already waiting outside, her voice was as calm as usual.

Kahlan nodded and – swallowing – she freed her face of any emotions as she was used to before making her way to the door.

Outside, she found Rachel, who struggled to keep a neutral expression when she saw Kahlan. Zedd was standing next to her with a smile on his face like nothing had happened at all.

But Kahlan's eyes were drawn to Richard, standing a few paces away from everyone else, looking tired and distressed. When he felt her eyes on him, he looked up and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but failed miserably. Kahlan ignored the Mord'Sith's annoyed huff and turned to Zedd: 'Shouldn't we leave now?' Thankfully, the wizard nodded, and the group was able to leave the village almost unseen in the morning twilight.

 

XXX

 

Kahlan walked next to Zedd. When Richard had gone ahead to check the path, she turned to the wizard, her voice as low as possible: 'How is he?'

Zedd watched his grandson, who was now some hundred feet ahead, with a thoughtful expression: 'He came back only about an hour before sunrise. He didn't tell me, but he must have wandered through the village and over the plains the whole night… I told him to get some sleep, but he just said we should get going, and went downstairs.'

Kahlan nodded, her gaze still fixed on Richard. She tried hard to remain calm, but Zedd knew her enough to see what was behind her Confessor mask. He laid a hand on her shoulder. 'I wish I could help you, but all I can say is this: Richard may have changed since he came back to us, but he still loves you more than anything in this world. And I am confident you will find a way out of this.' Zedd had tried to give Kahlan some confidence, but all she could ask was: 'But what about Rachel? What if he loves her more than me?'

Zedd knew this question would come, but that didn't change the fact that he had no answer that could comfort Kahlan; he would have told her what Richard had told him and - probably - her, too, already, but Zedd knew it wouldn't be enough so the two fell into a heavy silence.

 

XXX

 

When sunset came, rain clouds were already towering above their heads. They searched for something that would provide at least a little shelter from the rain. Despite the fact that all five of them searched the area, they couldn't find shelter for more than an hour. The rain had already started, becoming worse every minute.

Their clothes were soaked when finally Cara spotted a small cave. Although everyone was eager to get out of the rain, they didn't enter until Zedd had searched the darkness for any dangers. When the wizard finally nodded, Richard cautiously walked in, his sword in hand, the others following closely. He had only walked a few meters when Richard's hand touched the cold stone. He searched for any hidden entrances, but didn't find any.

Rachel had already gathered some fire wood on their way to the cave, so they set up a fire quickly. The group huddled around the fireside, all wrapped in their blankets except Cara, who had – against Richard's protest – insisted on taking watch at the entrance of the cave.

Cara had only taken the thinnest blanket with her, and when Richard walked up to her to take over watch some hours later, he saw her trembling slightly. He knew the Mord'Sith was stubborn, but she was never unreasonable, so he decided to at least give it a try: 'Cara, I'll take over watch now. Take my blanket; it's lying by the fireside.' The Mord'Sith immediately opened her mouth in protest, but Richard silenced her: 'You will get a cold when you stay out here any longer; just give me this blanket and take mine instead. I am warm enough.' When Cara still didn't move, Richard added in a playful tone: 'Do I have to make it an order for you to listen to me once?' He could see the small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth when she finally nodded, handed him her blanket and went into the cave.

XXX

The rain kept falling down as the night grew even darker and Richard felt it hard to stay awake. The sound of raindrops hitting the ground had always made him sleepy after a while, and his thoughts went back to Rachel and their kiss. It had been so short, but filled with emotions, however different to what he felt for Kahlan.

With a sigh he turned around and walked over to Rachel to wake her. She was lying on her right side, one arm under her head, the other lying on her blanket. The fire cast a beautiful reddish light on her face.

For a few moments Richard was so lost in his thoughts while watching her that he didn't see how suddenly her fists clenched and her legs began to move. Richard realized that her breathing became uneven. Rachel turned and was now lying on her back, her eyes wide open, but not appearing to perceive her surroundings.

'No, don't … I can't live…'

She was talking in her sleep, her voice desperate and fearful, her breathing quickening with every passing moment. Richard just stood there, helpless, as he found that calling her name couldn't wake Rachel. After a few moments her eyes closed again, but still Richard wasn't able to wake her up. Desperate, he grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Rachel's eyes opened immediately at his touch and he saw the beads of sweat on her brow.

It took Rachel a few seconds to realize where she was. Looking around she tried to block out the images of her nightmare and fought the urge to grab Richard's arm to make sure he was real … that he was still alive. He was looking at her, concern clearly written on his face. Rachel closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, while her heart was still beating at double speed. 'It's nothing… I'm alright.' she tried to tell him, but she knew she couldn't fool him. He saw the desperate struggle to suppress her emotions that was going on behind her blue eyes. 'Rachel, you can't always pretend you are alright. I can see your pain and I want to help you. Please…' Even as she looked into his eyes, Rachel wasn't able to hold her tears back anymore. She melted into his embrace and buried her face in his chest while Richard put his blanket around her to keep her warm. 'I am here… It's okay now…Just let it go…' The tears that kept running down her face were soaking Richard's shirt but he whispered comforting words into her ear all the time until the sobs that had shaken her body stopped.

He didn't want to push her but when she looked at him she saw the concern in his eyes; and the question: 'What did you see?' It took a few minutes until Rachel found the strength to speak and when she did, Richard was shocked to hear how broken her usually strong and calm voice sounded: 'It was so terrible…'

'It's over now Rachel. I won't let anything happen to you…' he started, but Rachel shook her head as fresh tears filled her eyes: 'You don't understand... The dreams I have… they always end with  _you_.'

'What do you mean?' Richard gave her a puzzled look. Rachel could barely force herself to say it in more than a whisper: 'I… I see you dying.' He frowned. That had been the last thing he had expected. But the fact that – again – he didn't know what to say was worse: Seeing the pain and the fear in Rachel's eyes and not being able to comfort her… Helpless as he was, he held her even tighter. It was the only way he could think of to help her… to reassure her that he was going to stay alive, when even he himself could never be sure of it.

He was staring blankly into the fire when she turned her head to look at him, the tears still glistening in her face. 'I can't loose you, too.' Richard shook his head, trying to tell her he would never leave her, but that wasn't enough for her. 'Promise me that if it's your life or mine, you will choose yours.' she whispered, her voice thick with emotions, 'I am here to protect  _you_  after all. Richard, I have only known you for a few days, but I know one thing for certain: I could never forgive myself if you gave your life for me …I care for you too much.' Richard was stunned by the determination in her voice, but he wanted to tell at her that he would never let her die.

'Promise me.' The lump in his throat made it impossible to speak, but slowly he nodded; although in the back of his mind he silently swore to himself that he would protect her …

'Thank you.' He almost couldn't hear the words, Rachel's voice was so low, but he saw in her eyes how grateful she was. She sat with him for some moments before she got up and tried to make her way to the entrance of the cave in order to take over her watch. Richard however was on his feet in an instant and pulled her softly back: 'I won't let you take over watch and sit there alone. I will take yours and you can try to get some sleep.'

'That's nice, but I don't think I will be able to sleep anymore.' Rachel tried hard to make her voice sound neutral, but Richard could still see the fear in her eyes. He laid a hand on her cheek and whispered softly: 'I understand.' Then he added in a playful tone: 'Anyways, I wouldn't mind some company; at least not if it's you.' For the first time in days, Rachel smiled. It was only a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips, but Richard felt so glad about it that he didn't care.

She took his hand and they went over to the entrance of the cave. He settled on the floor and Rachel sat down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder while he put the blanket around her. After a while, the rain stopped and a thick fog clouded their sight.

Rachel was beginning to feel sleepy when suddenly she heard a twig snapping somewhere in the haze ahead of them. She felt Richard's body tense as she got up and grabbed his dagger, which was lying next to her on the floor.

He silently drew his sword, trying to see through the fog. Both heard the rustling of leaves and Rachel's confusion grew as she realized that this noise didn't belong to a human.

Suddenly, a small shape appeared and apparently it was coming towards the cave. Rachel let out a small sigh when a brown rabbit came into view. She turned her head to look at Richard, who was still standing there, the sword in his hands and a look of disbelief on his face. Rachel let out a suppressed chuckle at his expression.

He scowled at her mockingly, but soon smiled as he laid his arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on his shoulder again.

He felt a wave of calm happiness washing over him as he held Rachel, his chin resting on her head as they watched the rabbit hobble away.

Rachel moved her head slightly so she could listen to his calming heartbeat; the proof that he was alive...

All these years Rachel had pushed her true feelings aside; she had buried them because it had been the only way to continue living after she watched her family die. Rachel felt like her very soul had begun to perish slowly when her mother died and over the years it had become more and more fragile. Now, after all that had happened in the past few days it was so close to breaking; but somehow, when he was holding her, she felt like she had found the one person in the world that could make her whole again.

His warmth was creeping into her, making all fears fade away like an almost forgotten dream, and Rachel felt  _alive_  – for the first time in years. It was like she had been chained to a wall in a dark room with almost no air in it and suddenly someone had torn down the walls of her prison and she could move and breathe the fresh air again. Rachel took a deep breath as she felt his arm around her, her heart beating at a slow steady pace again. After a few minutes Rachel took a small step back and immediately felt cold despite the blanket that was still wrapped around her. She didn't need any words to thank him; it was enough to look into his gentle brown eyes.

Rachel walked over to Zedd, who was to take next watch, and woke him. His face lightened when he saw the young woman: she seemed to be really happy for the first time since they had met her. Zedd immediately realized what the reason for it was when he saw his grandson standing at the entrance of the cave, watching Rachel's every movement with a small smile on his face; as glad as the wizard was about Rachel's change, he couldn't help but throw a quick glance at Kahlan lying with her back towards them on the other side of the fire and he furrowed his brow, looking thoughtful. When Zedd got up Richard grabbed Rachel's hand for a moment before walking over to his bedroll.

Rachel fell asleep quickly, but this time no nightmare could overcome the calmness that had settled in her heart.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hey there,
> 
> thanks for reading on :) I hope you liked this chapter. As always, let me know what you think :)
> 
> I am happy to see at least some of you are still interested in the story. I think it becomes a little clearer in this chapter where the relationship between Richard and Rachel is going, so I hope to be able to calm some of your concerns about this all being completely 'off character'.
> 
> Wishing you a great day,
> 
> Alex


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter 8_ **

Somewhere deep in a forest a woman with long auburn hair was gazing intently upon the surface of the water that was glistening in the flat bowl. She frowned for a moment, but then a content smile came over her face as she watched the vision she had had of the future change. _Finally…_ she thought. Only moments after, the woman let out a low, frustrated growl when the vision she saw changed back to it's original state. However, she was aware that the girl was not the reason for the fact that the vision had changed again. _Stubborn boy…_

XXX

 

When Rachel awoke, rays of sunlight were illuminating the cave, but the first thing she saw was his face. Richard had placed a hand on her shoulder to wake her, smiling at her. Rachel smiled back, her heart pounding a little faster than usual when she took his hand as he helped her up.

The others were already packing their bags and Rachel couldn't help but feel guilty when she saw Kahlan standing a little away from the others, her back turned towards them. She could understand Kahlan so well and wanted to help her, but knew that at the moment, she didn't want to talk to her. Rachel wouldn't know what to say anyways, so she decided to keep a little distance to the Confessor before she would make things worse.

'Are you hungry?' Richard's voice brought her out of her thoughts and Rachel, who was still feeling somewhat shaky from her nightmare, gladly accepted the bread he held out to her.

 

XXX

 

As soon as the group had set out, Rachel tried to get as close to Richard as possible without drawing the attention of the others. Although she still felt a sense of guilt nagging at the back of her mind, there was nothing that could keep her more than a few inches away from him. Rachel felt like she was constantly drawn towards him. She enjoyed each time he smiled at her.

It was enough to be near him for Rachel to feel more alive than she had in years.

Richard, who felt Kahlan's gaze on him, frowned. No one could fathom how torn he really was. The connection he and Kahlan shared was like nothing he had ever felt before, but what had happened between him and Rachel went just as deep, even though maybe in a different way. Looking back, he realized he had known it from the moment Rachel had opened her eyes; the eyes that didn't have the sharp edge of power and pride like Kahlan's had when she was the Mother Confessor, but were full of grief and fear… and courage… and love. He loved her, and wanted nothing more than to see her beautiful smile, to protect her and help her.

Richard felt a calm happiness at seeing Rachel smiling. He had been so worried about her, especially in the last few days. Although Rachel had tried to hide it, he had felt there was something else that was bothering her besides her feelings for him. When he had seen the terror in her eyes as she had told him of her nightmares, Richard had realized it had to be a side effect of the poison Zedd had talked about, and therefore he knew he could do nothing but try to comfort her. His heart had clenched at this thoughts just as it did when he saw Kahlan looking at him now.

'Everything alright?' Rachel's soft voice called him out of his thoughts. Richard looked at her and saw the concern not only evident in her voice but in her light blue eyes as well. 'You looked… worried.', she continued when he didn't answer.

'It's nothing. I was just thinking.' Richard responded, trying to sound confident and carefree. Rachel raised an eyebrow, obviously not satisfied with his answer, but said nothing.

Richard gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting it go and returning his attention to the small path they were walking on at the moment.

Zedd, who had been watching Rachel and his grandson for a while now, smiled to himself, despite everything that had happened.

'What are you grinning at?' Cara asked in an unnerved tone.

'I am just glad she is smiling again. Richard seems to care for her deeply.' Zedd answered, nodding towards the couple walking in front of him and Cara.

The Mord'Sith gave an annoyed huff: 'Yes, and by doing that, he hurts Kahlan.' She glanced back at the Confessor who was walking several paces behind, obviously struggling to maintain her Confessor's mask while watching Richard and Rachel holding hands.

Zedd's eyebrow rose when he realized this had not been another one of Cara's sarcastic remarks: she actually seemed worried about Kahlan.

Cara, seeing Zedd's expression, hurriedly tried to explain: 'After all, Richard asked me to protect her. I am only doing my duty.'

Zedd chuckled lowly: If Cara felt the need to explain her actions, it was a sure sign he had guessed rightly.

He decided to take a step further: 'I am glad you finally became friends.' Cara shot him her Mord'Sith glare and spat: 'We are _NOT_.' But before she could say more, she was silenced by Richard, who had stopped dead, holding up his hand to signal the others to be quiet. A metallic ring filled the air as he slowly drew his sword. Rachel had her sword out in an instant, straining to hear any noise that would indicate what was wrong. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she tried to ready herself for what was to come. The whining of Cara's agiels seemed unnaturally loud as all other noises had diminished. Then, suddenly, they heard a cry of pain behind them.

 

XXX

 

Richard spun around at the cry. His eyes grew wide with shock when he saw Kahlan slashing the throat of a man before collapsing on the floor, her hands pressed on her right thigh. Blood soaked her dress where the man's dagger had left a deep cut.

He had barely reached her side when more man, apparently banelings, appeared from behind a group of trees and attacked them. Richard beheaded the first baneling that came charging towards him and quickly dispatched two others while trying to keep an eye on Kahlan who was now behind him, trying to get up. Rachel was next to them moments after and helped Kahlan on her feet. She gritted her teeth and tried to ignore the throbbing pain in her thigh as she put her weight on her right leg. Standing back to back, the women easily finished their two opponents. Cara stabbed her agiels into the chest of the last baneling and came to Kahlan's side while Zedd began burning the corpses.

The pain made it almost impossible for her to stand on her right leg, and as Kahlan took a step forward, she tripped. Richard caught her before she could fall, but she freed herself of his embrace as soon as she was up again and said in a cold tone: 'I'm fine.' Kahlan only managed to walk a few steps before falling again. She pressed her hands on the wound while the others approached. 'Kahlan, you are not alright. Zedd will have to look after the wound. Don't try to walk again, it'll only become worse.' Although Richard's voice seemed calm, Kahlan could hear he was hurt at how she had rejected him, and began to regret it. She might be angry at him, but what had happened between him and Rachel no one could have foreseen or prevented.

Kahlan slowly nodded, and accepted that he knelt down beside her, taking her hand, while waiting for Zedd.

Richard felt better knowing she finally allowed him to help her, even though it was probably only for these few moments.

The wizard looked at the wound and said: 'The cut looks deep, but I think I can fix it. Don't worry, dear.' Kahlan gave a nod and tried to calm her breathing as Zedd began to mutter his incantations. After a few minutes, the wound was closed and Kahlan could feel no pain except a slight discomfort in her thigh. 'Thank you.'

The wizard smiled at her, and Kahlan got up. Cara and Rachel were standing a few paces away, making sure they wouldn't be caught off guard again.

When Zedd turned his back on them, Kahlan looked into Richard's eyes and said in a low voice: 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I was just…' Richard shook his head and squeezed her hand reassuringly: 'Don't worry. I understand.' She didn't need her powers to see he was completely honest. Richard really understood her and Kahlan was glad for that. She smiled a little and he asked: 'Can you walk?' 'Yes, the pain is gone.'

Richard smiled a little, clearly relieved she was fine, before he addressed the others: 'We should get moving.'

Rachel was still breathing heavily, but not because of the physical effort: Only when the battle was over she had realized that she had killed someone… for the first time in her life. As the adrenalin subsided she began to feel sick, the picture of the first person she had killed clear before her eyes. _He was already dead._ Rachel tried to tell herself in order to calm down, but she found it didn't help much. A tear ran down her cheek, but Richard's voice called her out of her thoughts. All she wanted to do was leave this place, so she quickly followed her companions.

 

XXX

 

At sundown, the group made camp in a small clearing. When Richard got up and said he wanted to go hunting, Rachel quickly grabbed a bow: 'Can I come with you?'

The others gave her a surprised look, and she felt her cheeks flush slightly as she explained: 'I know how to hunt. And I used to practice with my bow almost every day when I was still…' she trailed d off into silence, overcome by the memory of her father and the home she had left behind.

She was thankful when Richard nodded reassuringly: 'Alright then.'

For a short moment Rachel saw a look of hurt on Kahlan's face, but then her expression became neutral again, although the Confessor soon turned away from her.

 

XXX

 

Richard watched mesmerized as Rachel aimed for the stag which was standing a few feet away from them. They had followed its trail for a while and now lay hidden behind a few brambles. The rising moon cast a pale light on them and illuminated Rachel's features as she concentrated on her target. Richard felt her tense next to him for a short moment before she released her arrow. He realized his breathing had caught while he had been watching her. Rachel turned her head to look at him, as she obviously had felt his eyes on her. She accidentally released the arrow; it hit a nearby tree and startled the stag, causing it to jump away.

A smile spread across his face as Rachel got up and huffed. She then turned to look at him. Seeing his expression she furrowed her brow: 'Why are you smiling? I almost had it.'

Richard shook his head, still grinning, and got up: 'Don't worry. I won't loose faith in your hunting skills because of that.'

'You want to talk. You are the reason it got away. You distracted me.' Rachel answered in mock anger, which made him grin even more. She playfully nudged him, but chuckled lowly while he wrapped his arms around her in a protective embrace.

'We should head back. The others will be worried.' Rachel said half-heartedly, but she didn't move. In fact, she didn't _want_ to. She just felt too comfortable in his arms.

All of a sudden, however, a familiar pain shot through Rachel's shoulder, making her step back and double over. Rachel gritted her teeth, trying hard not to scream out loud while she was kneeling on the floor. Black and white spots were dancing in front of her eyes when Richard quickly sat down beside her, taking her hands. She could hear the worry in his voice when he asked: 'What is it?' Rachel could only shake her head. When the pain had subsided after a few more moments she answered: 'It's my back. I think the pain comes from the spot where the arrow hit me. But it's nothing. I can handle it.'

Richard frowned: 'Has this happened before?' When Rachel didn't answer he continued in a reproachful tone: 'Why didn't you tell me?'

Rachel lowered her eyes: 'I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you. I really didn't think it was necessary to mention it seeing that the pain always disappears after a while.'

Richard's face softened as he answered: 'Come on, we should get back.' He helped Rachel to her feet, but when she swayed, gently lifted her up to carry her back in his arms.

Rachel wanted to protest: in all her life she had almost never allowed anyone to see her when she felt 'vulnerable'. She had built walls around her feelings to keep them under the surface, as she had always thought showing them was a sign of weakness. But when she was with Richard, she felt these walls crumbling. There was something about him that gave her the feeling she could allow her emotions to show without having to feel weak. When she was with him, there was no weakness; she didn't have to be afraid about her true feelings, or about appearing weak. Rachel just knew she could trust him and she felt happy knowing she could be herself.

As she still felt exhausted from the pain, she allowed herself to get lost in the warmth that she felt in his arms and soon relaxed. Her eyelids even began to flutter close after a while.

Just before they reached the camp, Richard looked down at the woman in his arms and smiled, seeing she had fallen asleep, a peaceful look on her face. As he approached the camp, he found Cara and Zedd sitting by the fire, apparently arguing – as usual. However, when they saw Richard with Rachel in his arms, they became silent. Richard laid Rachel down on her bedroll by the fire, pulling a blanket over her and slowly pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen over her face before turning to look at his grandfather who threw him a questioning look.

'What happened?'

'I don't know. She said she sometimes feels this pain in her shoulder where the arrow hit her. She told me it wasn't that strong, but…' Richard sounded worried as he sat down beside his grandfather, 'Zedd, she was kneeling on the floor, gasping. And while we went back here she even fell asleep; she was so exhausted… and then there are the nightmares she has had…'

Zedd put a comforting hand on Richard's shoulder: 'I think these things might be after effects of the poison. I am sorry I can't help her, but I am confident it will get better after a while.' The wizard tried to sound confident, but his furrowed brow gave away the fact he wasn't sure at all. Richard nodded slowly: he was still worried, but he also knew Zedd would do anything to help Rachel if it were in his powers, so he decided not to push the matter any further.

He suddenly felt very tired, but Cara's voice brought him out of his thoughts: 'So, I take it your hunt was unsuccessful.' 'What? Oh, yes, it looks like it…' he answered absentmindedly. He had just realized that Kahlan was not sitting near them, and his eyes were searching for her. To his relief, she was lying a few feet away, obviously asleep. Cara noticed his gaze and didn't say anymore.

After a while, Richard got up and left Cara and Zedd to decide who had to take first watch. He felt too tired to stay up any longer, so he told them to wake him for second watch. The moment he laid down his eyes closed, and he drifted off into sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter 9_ **

****

The moment Richard and Rachel had left, Kahlan had declared she was tired and wanted to sleep early. Zedd had raised an eyebrow at that. He knew her well enough to know that she didn't want to talk right now, but he was concerned about her. 'At least have something to eat, dear one.' he said in a soft voice. Kahlan, however, only shook her head.

'When was the last time you had anything to eat?' Zedd inquired, looking at Kahlan intently. She swallowed and answered: 'Please, Zedd. I'm not hungry. I'm fine.' As Zedd continued to stare at her, she gave in: 'Alright.'

Kahlan grabbed a slice of bread and began eating it slowly. Only when she had finished Zedd stopped watching her, apparently content.

Kahlan sighed: 'Wake me up for my watch.' She lied down and closed her eyes, her back turned towards the others.

Kahlan could feel they were watching her, but she was in no mood to talk to them. It had been hard for her to except Richard's feelings, but to see him and Rachel holding hands had hit her more than she wanted to admit.

A little later, she heard Richard and Rachel coming back and then the low voices of him and Zedd, but she didn't care to listen. Kahlan tried her best to suppress her feelings and calm down and - after a time - sleep finally overcame her.

 

XXX

_She saw her father, standing in their little house, moments before the banelings came rushing into the room… his eyes widened in shock and he let out a moan as one of the men stabbed him in the back…'Not this again…' Rachel thought as she felt hot tears run down her face. Suddenly, the picture before her eyes was removed and she could see nothing but blackness for a few heartbeats until another, all too familiar scene manifested before her eyes:_

_He was standing a few feet away, fighting, when the silver weapon hit him in the back. His lifeless body fell to the ground. Her scream got caught in her throat as she watched the life in his eyes diminish. Tears ran down her cheeks as she collapsed on the floor, feeling helpless._

' _Rachel, wake up.'_   _Rachel frowned for a moment… She knew this voice, but it didn't belong here…_ Cara's voice pulled her out of her nightmare. Rachel sat up immediately, her eyes frantically searching for him. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Richard lying on the other side of the fire, fast asleep and breathing slowly.

Rachel turned to look at Cara, who looked at her questioningly. 'I'm fine. Just a bad dream.' The tear that slipped down her face betrayed her, and Rachel knew Cara could see right through her façade, but the Mord'Sith merely nodded and went over to her bedroll.

Rachel slowly got up and made her way over to the edge of the camp, wrapping her cloak tightly around herself as she sat down. She shivered despite her cloak and her heart was still beating rapidly. Even though she tried to tell herself it had all been just a bad dream, Rachel couldn't fight off the feeling it had been more than that. She looked up into the clear night sky where a few stars where shining. The sight brought back memories of her father, and she suddenly found herself singing a song he had sung to her when she had been a child:

 

I see you everywhere I go

Your hair flowing in the wind like grass on a field

Your eyes sparkling like the river flowing by

I will never forget you

You left this world

The life in your eyes diminished

But the ghost of a smile on your face

I will never forget you

Even though it hurts

I know you are still with me

Looking down from the heavens

I will never forget you

When I look at the stars

I feel you with me, so close

Your light shining on me

I will never forget you

Tears had begun to run down her cheeks and her voice had become lower with every word until she stopped singing. A twig snapped behind her and Rachel spun around, only to let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Richard. He slowly sat down beside her and watched the trees in front of them intently for a long time until he finally spoke: 'That's a nice song.' Rachel blushed: she had never thought she was a good singer, and now she had only sung because she had thought no one would hear her.

She swallowed before answering: 'My father used to sing it to me after my mother died…' She trailed off and Richard took her hand in his as he calmly answered: 'You don't have to talk about it.'

Rachel shook her head: 'No, it's alright. I… would like to tell you.' When he nodded slowly, she continued: 'He always sang it to me when I missed my mother and couldn't sleep. He would take me outside and wrap me up in a blanket. We watched the stars and he would sing to me until I fell asleep; he always told me that the people we love could hear us if we sang to them…' The memories that came to live before her inner eye were overwhelming her, and Rachel found that tears were now running freely down her face. Richard gently took her in his arms, and she was glad for the comfort. After a while, when she had calmed down a bit, he whispered into her ear: 'Sounds like your father was a wise man.' Rachel had to smile beside the tears as he hugged her more tightly. She buried her face in his chest and listened to his calming heartbeat.

She wasn't alone…Although she missed her parents, she had a family again. She was with people who cared about her just as much as she cared about them. The thought made her smile and it gave her more comfort than she ever thought she would get.

Richard sat silent, Rachel in his arms, looking up at the stars shining above them, thinking about the things she had said, and the song she had sung. He thought of his own father and smiled a little at the thought that he was somewhere up there, listening. He felt Rachel's breathing becoming slower as she curled up in his arms. Richard tucked a strand of her blonde hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. Rachel lifted her head at his touch to look into his eyes. 'What is it?'

Richard smiled: 'I didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry. You should sleep now. I can take your watch.'

Rachel nodded wearily and got up. Richard smiled to himself as he watched her walking away. With a sigh he tore his gaze away from her and turned around to watch the dark forest, feeling tired but a little more at ease.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hey there,
> 
> I know, this chapter is a bit short; it was originally part of the last chapter, but that would have been a little too long so I decided to split it up.
> 
> The song Rachel sings in this chapter is completely made up by me :) (So don't judge it too hard; I don't have any experience in writing songs, nor am I very musical ;))
> 
> Originally, I had a 'real' song in my mind that I wanted to put in here, because the lyrics just seemed perfect. I was a little worried though with the whole copyright issues and - after doing a bit of research - found that most writers recommend writing something for yourself instead of copying some lyrics. So, here it is :) Maybe not perfect, but I hope it reflects Rachel's emotions.
> 
> Of course, I am still looking forward to reviews :) Thanks for reading,
> 
> Alex
> 
> (P.S.: The song I had in mind is called "1000 Words". You should be able to find it on Youtube if you search for "Final Fantasy X-2 1000 words (orchestra version). Yes, it's a song from a video game, but the lyrics just would have fit so perfectly I thought I would give you a hint where to find it :) Besides, I really loved this song, although it has a strong touch of J-pop which isn't quite the music I normally listen to ;))


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 10_ **

The next morning the sky was darkened by rain clouds and it was unusually windy.

While they packed their bags, Zedd began grumbling about how terrible he found sleeping outside when the weather was like that. Richard took his clue and addressed the rest of the group: 'It looks like a storm is coming. We should try to get to a nearby village. I don't want to stay in the open when the storm comes.' They nodded their agreement and quickly finished packing before leaving the clearing in the direction where Zedd had announced the next village was.

Thankfully, they didn't have to stray far from the course the compass was pointing out and after a few hours the small town came into view. The wind had become much fiercer by now, slowing their pace considerably.

Richard still felt uneasy. At first he had pushed the feeling away, telling himself it was because they had been caught off guard yesterday, but as the wind had become stronger, so had his uneasiness. He kept glancing over his shoulder, meeting Cara's gaze as the Mord'Sith was walking at the rear. She, too, seemed to sense something: her hands were at her agiels, her fingers twitching to grab them at the slightest sign of a threat. Next to him, Rachel had her hand on the grip of her sword. Kahlan, who had been talking quietly to Zedd, looked up, sensing the tension that had settled on the group. She knew Richard well enough to trust his instincts.

She made a move to reach for her daggers, but Richard saw her eyes widen as she breathed his name. Richard spun around to see what had startled her. He only caught a glimpse of red before he raised his sword to block a dacra that came flying towards him. In the blink of an eye, the group was surrounded by about a dozen Sisters of the Dark.

Rachel froze for a second when she recognized the silver weapons the women in their red robes were wielding. Images of her nightmares came before her inner eye, but she quickly shook herself, pushing them away.

She had barely drawn her sword when one of the women came running at her, holding up her dacras, ready to slash her throat. Rachel quickly parried the blow and was able to gash the women's right leg. Richard, who had been standing back to back with Rachel, swapped their positions and beheaded the Sister with one swift stroke.

Kahlan was fighting alongside Cara, the Mord'Sith mostly blocking flying dacras and stopping the Sisters that came at them, leaving the task of dispatching them to the Confessor.

Zedd's Wizard's Fire killed the remaining two Sisters and there was a moment of tension while everyone carefully watched the surroundings for any more enemies.

Finally, Richard sheathed the Sword, the others taking it as a sign they could lower their weapons, too. He gave Cara a quick nod, silently thanking her for protecting Kahlan.

It was Rachel who broke the silence, her voice shaking slightly: 'Who were these women? And what kind of weapons were those?' The horror in her eyes was evident, but only Richard guessed what Rachel really meant: He had a feeling; or rather he was quite certain that Rachel had seen these weapons in her nightmares.

Zedd began to explain: 'They are Sisters of the Dark, sworn to serve the Keeper. They are wielding dacras, deadly weapons with which they can take a person's magic and use it for themselves. Not seldom are their dacras poisoned with dark magic.'

Richard raised an eyebrow, looking concerned: Rachel had become pale at Zedd's explanation. He figured she wouldn't want to talk about her nightmares in front of the whole group, so he made a mental note to talk to her later.

After a few moments, Rachel spoke again, her voice still a little shaky as she addressed Zedd: 'Could it be that these Sisters were the ones who gave the banelings the poison they used against me?'

'We can't know for sure, but I think it would make sense.' the Wizard answered.

Now that the fight was over, they realized how strong the wind had become. The first drops of rain were already coming down as Richard looked up at the quickly darkening sky. 'We should get going before the storm is here.'

They pulled up their hoods and walked off towards the village, leaning forward against the wind.

XXX

Luckily, the village hadn't been as far away as it had appeared when they first saw it, and the group reached a small inn before the storm came. Upon seeing Richard the innkeeper had insisted on offering them a hot meal along with his best rooms.

Now they were sitting by the fireside in the guest room, which was, to their surprise, quite clean and friendly. The howling of the wind drowned the cackling of the fire as the group ate their meal. The innkeeper's wife, Leanne, a woman of about forty years, kept the pots that contained various sorts of food filled until even Zedd had finished and leaned back with a content sigh.

Cara rolled her eyes at the wizard, which made the rest of the group grin.

Their conversation afterwards consisted mostly of Zedd recounting some of their funnier adventures, tending to emphasize the fact that it had been mostly him to save the day when something had gone wrong. Richard felt a little more at ease when he saw Kahlan even smiling a little about the Wizard's storys, although she still kept more quiet than usual.

Occasionally, when there was silence, they sat back and listened to the storm that was still raging outside. The inn was empty except for them, as the villagers had retreated to their own houses when the storm came.

One after another, Zedd, Kahlan and Richard wished them goodnight and went up into their rooms, leaving Cara and Rachel sitting alone by the fire in silence.

After a while, when Rachel stifled another yawn, Cara asked: 'Why aren't you going to bed?'

Rachel turned her head and lifted her gaze from the flames she had been staring into for the last hour, to look Cara in the eye: 'I'm not tired.'

Cara raised her eyebrow and mumbled something like: 'Of course.'

Feeling a sudden rise of anger at the Mord'Sith's teasing, Rachel snapped: 'You know you are not exactly the person I would like to tell, but seeing you are so annoyed with me, I will tell you: I don't  _want_  to sleep.' When Cara looked at her, Rachel thought for a moment she would apologize, but the Mord'Sith quickly regained her stoic composure and asked calmly: 'And why is that?' Apparently she was _really_  curious now, despite her calm voice.

The look in Rachel's eyes became distant and Cara was surprised to see the fear so clearly reflect in her blue eyes. She could hear Rachel struggling to maintain a calm voice when the woman answered.

'Because of the nightmares.'

'Nightmares?' Cara looked at her in disbelief, barely holding back a smirk.

Rachel had tears in her eyes, partly because of her fear of the nightmares but also because she was angry at Cara. But then, Cara was still a Mord'Sith, so what could she expect from her? Rachel sighed at her own stupidity for even bringing up the subject and, instead of responding, got up, turning towards the staircase.

Cara's voice stopped her: 'Wait.' Rachel turned around and Cara could see the haunted look on her face.

'What?' Rachel snapped; under normal circumstances, she would never have reacted like this, but she felt miserable and thus grew angry at the Mord'Sith's mocking when she would normally have dismissed or even smiled about it.

Cara's voice was still calm when she asked: 'What are they about?'

Rachel was silent for some moments before answering.

'I see Richard dying… and I can't do anything. I can only stand there, and watch him die.' Rachel had said the last words in barely more than a whisper before turning around and running upstairs, leaving Cara sitting there, stunned.

The Mord'Sith had expected a lot, but not  _this_. It took her a while to realize why she felt so uncommonly upset about Rachel's words: The thought of Richard dying was something that she didn't like. Cara would never have admitted it loud, but a small part of herself agreed with Rachel that his death would come terribly close to a nightmare.

XXX

Rachel sat on her bed, in the room she shared with Cara. Her hair was still damp after she had washed it; it had been more to keep herself busy than to actually clean it.

She tried her best not to give in to her exhaustion and simply crawl under the soft, warm blankets. She didn't want to sleep: her fear of her nightmares had become worse since the fight with the Sisters of the Dark, since she had first seen that her nightmares were not made up. How could she dream of a weapon which actually existed but she had never seen before? The only possible explanation had come to her a while ago, but it seemed unlikely at the time: A vision of the future. Now, however, the more Rachel thought about it, the more likely it became.

After a while, Cara entered the room. She looked at the woman sitting on her bed, her legs pulled up to her chest, and her arms around them. Rachel had been staring ahead blankly, and Cara was surprised at herself about how much she understood Rachel.

When she felt the Mord'Sith glance at her, she locked eyes with her for a second before turning her head away again.

Cara, after undressing herself and putting on the nightgown that had been laid out for her, went to bed silently, lying on her side to watch the door of their room. It was a habit she wouldn't give up so easily, even if it seemed unnecessary to others.

Rachel listened to the rain pattering against the window on the other side of the room. She felt her eyelids becoming heavier, fluttering close every once in a while. The howling of the wind had stopped, and the sound of rain sounded distant to her ears as she slowly drifted off to sleep, unable to stay awake any longer.

XXX

'No!' Cara was immediately wide awake when she heard Rachel scream. She jumped to her feet and was about to grab her Agiels as she searched the room, but she couldn't find anything dangerous. Her eyes came to rest upon Rachel, realizing why she had screamed.

Rachel sat in her bed, her eyes wide, staring at the wall without seeing it. Cara carefully approached her, and looked into her face which was lightened by the moonlight coming through the window. Tears were running down Rachel's cheeks. Between her sobs, Cara could only make out a few words. Rachel was begging someone to stop, to not kill  _him_.

The Mord'Sith cupped Rachel's chin and turned her head towards her. Rachel blinked a few times, and then she looked Cara directly in the eye, wide awake, her heart still beating rapidly. She tried to control her breathing as she wiped her tears away with shaking hands: 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.'

For a short moment, Cara's features softened: 'Never mind.'

Rachel looked at her in disbelief. She had never before heard the Mord'Sith speak in a compassionate tone. Cara, realizing she had just let her emotions show, quickly got up and added in a superior tone: 'Mord'Sith are trained to be alert even in their sleep. You didn't startle me.'

With that she walked over to her bed and lied down again, her back turned towards a still stunned Rachel.

She sat in her bed, and watched Cara's sleeping form, while thinking about what to do. Rachel decided to get up, knowing she wouldn't get any more sleep that night anyway. She looked around and caught sight of a comfortable looking bathrobe hanging over the slightly opened door of the wardrobe. As quietly as she could, Rachel walked over and slipped the robe on, looking down at herself to make sure it concealed her wearing only a nightgown. Rachel also put on the slippers she found inside the wardrobe before leaving the room and closing the door carefully behind her.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Chapter 11_ **

The wooden stairs creaked under her feet as Rachel slowly made her way down to the dining room they had sat in earlier this evening. The embers in the fireside were still glowing enough to lighten the room a little. Rachel sat down on the bench near the fire, leaning her back against the wall while pulling the bathrobe more tightly around her. Suddenly, the door on the other side of the room creaked and opened. Rachel jumped to her feet, straining to make out who was standing there.

She released a breath when she saw it was Leanne. The woman slowly approached, and Rachel threw her a questioning look.

Leanne answered in a low voice: 'I had fallen asleep in our living room.' She tilted her head towards the door. 'I heard someone walking down the stairs and decided to look in case you needed something. What are you doing awake at this hour anyway, dear one?'

'I couldn't sleep.' Rachel answered truthfully. Leanne thought she looked really tired. And then there was this look in the woman's eyes, full of fear. Leanne had seen it in the eyes of her own children, although not as strong, when they had awoken from nightmares. 'Bad dreams?' She asked, and Rachel nodded.

Leanne patted her arm: 'I know something that will help you sleep. Just wait here and I'll be back in a moment.' Rachel nodded again and forced herself to smile a little. She sat back down on the bench, thinking there couldn't be anything that would help her; she didn't want to seem ungrateful, seeing Leanne was a really nice woman, so Rachel decided to wait for the woman anyway.

A few minutes later, Leanne returned with a steaming cup. 'My mother gave this to me when I couldn't sleep. The herbs have a calming effect, and they taste best when used for a tea. Go on, it tastes better than it smells, I promise.'

Rachel smiled again before taking a sip of the warm tea. To her surprise, it tasted sweet; completely different from how it smelled. 'It's really good. Thank you.'

Leanne smiled warmly and handed her some leaves, wrapped in a small piece of cloth: 'These are the herbs I used. Take them and whenever you don't feel well you can just mix them with warm water and drink it. It will keep the nightmares away.'

'Thank you.' Rachel replied, already feeling the warmth spreading through her body.

'Never mind, dear. Now, you should go back to bed. Sleep well.' With that, Leanne turned and left the room, smiling at Rachel once more before closing the door behind her.

Rachel slowly drank the rest of the tea, before taking the cloth with the leaves and heading back upstairs. She slipped into her room quietly, and looked over to where Cara was lying, relieved she hadn't woken her. With a sigh, she crawled under the blankets and was asleep in a heartbeat, the fear of her nightmares almost forgotten.

XXX

The next morning, Cara had to wake Rachel. She had been sleeping so peacefully that she didn't even wake when the sunlight coming through the window met her face.

Even though Rachel felt she could have slept the whole day, she felt more at ease and refreshed than she had for the last days.

After Cara had woken her, she quickly packed her things and rushed downstairs. The others were sitting at the same table as they had the night before, eating breakfast which had been brought by Leanne. Kahlan, although still quiet, had eaten normally again and even smiled a little at Rachel when she saw her.

Richard noticed that some colour had returned to Rachel's cheeks, and as she smiled at him, her eyes sparkled with a genuine happiness he had seldom seen before.

She sat down next to him and he smiled back. Even Zedd noticed the change in her mood and looked up from his bowl: 'You look much better, dear. Slept well, I guess?'

'Better than the last nights. Leanne gave me some herbs.' Rachel answered while choosing something to eat. Richard gave her hand a short squeeze under the table, and Rachel smiled at him.

XXX

The storm of the previous night had left a slightly overcast greyish sky, but Rachel enjoyed the small beams of sunlight breaking through the clouds as she walked at the rear beside Richard. He had given her a glance, silently telling her he wanted to talk to her alone, so she had followed him, slowing her walking pace until the others were well ahead of them.

'Rachel.' His voice was soft, but he couldn't hide his concern as he addressed her.

Rachel had a feeling she already knew what he wanted to ask her.

'The dacras; is that what…' Richard fell silent for a moment, searching for words, not wanting to say directly what he meant, 'are these the weapons you see in your nightmares?'

Although Rachel had been sure this question was coming, she felt a lump in her throat. She nodded slowly, the all too familiar fear building up inside her again.

When Richard took her hand, Rachel felt he was afraid, too. He was hiding it most of the time, but looking at her, hearing her talk about her nightmares, brought up the thought in him that dreams like these were mostly not just ordinary dreams, but rather visions. Richard didn't want to admit it, but he shuddered to think the things Rachel saw were a glimpse of the future. Although he always said he didn't believe in prophecies, he couldn't deny that until now, they had all become true.

But what made him even more afraid was that she might throw away her own life, trying to stop her visions – or nightmares – from coming true.

Richard turned his head to look at Rachel. He saw a tear running down her cheek, and wiped it away, silently making a vow once more to protect her. Rachel couldn't think of anything to say, so she squeezed his hand again, also vowing quietly that she would do all in her power to prevent her visions from coming true.

'Promise me you won't do anything … dangerous.' Richard said, knowing she understood what he was talking about. Rachel nodded slowly.

She could see in his eyes that he was afraid she would sacrifice her life for him; and Rachel felt sorry for causing him worries, but to her it seemed better to look into his eyes when they were full of fear than not being able to look at them at all. And it was probably better anyway if she died and he lived. Rachel knew it was selfish, leaving him to deal with it, but maybe he would be able to move on. He still loved Kahlan like he always had and he cared for her deeply; Rachel saw it in Richard's eyes when he looked at the Confessor. They could find a way to be together… It  _was_ better if she died. Although – or rather because - she loved Richard with all her heart, she felt like she was standing between him and Kahlan, destroying a love that was meant to be.

A soft nudge from Richard called her out of her thoughts: 'What is it?' Richard looked into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts.

But Rachel only shook her head: 'Nothing. I'm… fine.' He didn't look very convinced, but decided not to push the matter. 'Why don't we make a short stop over there?' He said in an attempt to lighten Rachel's mood, pointing at a clearing. Only Rachel saw how forced his smile really was. The others seemed to approve of his idea and made their way over to the clearing, pulling the food they had been given by the innkeeper from their packs.

Rachel decided to take a walk, so she left the others to take a look at their surroundings. Soon she came to a quiet place near a small lake. Rachel sat down on a boulder near the shore. The trees were standing quite close in this part of the forest, but as Rachel looked up to the sky, she heard some birds chirping. She smiled when she recognized them: a few sparrows were sitting on the lower branches of a nearby tree.

Rachel heard soft footsteps behind her and turned to see Richard standing a few paces away.

'I came looking for you. We will move on soon.' He said as he closed the distance between them and came to sit on the boulder next to Rachel.

'All right.' Rachel glanced up at the sparrows, smiling.

Richard looked at her from the side and when he saw what she was looking at, said: 'Do you like them?'

'What?'

'The sparrows.' Richard chuckled when he realized she had been completely caught up in watching the birds.

Rachel looked at him, the smile leaving her face: 'They are my favourite birds, actually.'

Richard wanted to ask her why, but the memory seemed to make her sad, so he took her hand instead, giving her the chance to tell him if she wanted to.

Rachel was silent for a while, but explained it to him: 'Some years ago, I found a young sparrow in the forest near our home. He must have fallen out of his mother's nest. I took him home and my father helped me to nurse him; I had sat next to the blanket we had placed him on for hours, sometimes singing and talking to him, hoping he would grow strong again.

After a few weeks he was strong enough to live on his own. I was sad when we let him fly away, but my father told me I would see him again. He said I would recognize him for sure; after all, he was missing a claw.'

Richard smiled and Rachel, who thought he was mocking her, continued: 'I know it sounds crazy, talking to a bird, but it was almost like a real friend to me, so, since then, sparrows are my favourite birds.'

Richard was still smiling at her when he answered: 'I don't think it sounds crazy. Sounds like you love animals very much.'

Rachel nodded: 'Every time I see a sparrow, I think about the hatchling and wonder if he is still alive. It also reminds me of my father…' Richard noticed the hurt in her eyes had come back at the memory of her father. He wasn't sure if and how he could comfort her, but Rachel simply leaned into his side for a few moments before she sighed and got up. She smiled at him, blinking a tear away: 'Didn't you say we should get going?'

Richard nodded, smiling reassuringly at her as he, too, got up. He went over in the direction the others were, and waited for Rachel. She cast one last look at the sparrows before coming towards him.

'I'm so glad I found you.'  _Despite what happened or how it will end._ She added in thought, before she embraced him, her chin resting on his shoulder. Although she held back the tears, Rachel had to smile when he answered softly: 'Me too.'

Reluctantly, she pulled away a little and whispered: 'We should get going.'

Richard nodded, smiling at her before they went off to find the others.

 

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

**_Chapter 12_ **

****

The sun had already set when they found a small cave to sleep in. After the group had eaten, they sat around the small fire, talking.

Rachel had lost track of their conversation when Cara grumbled about Zedd being naïve. Zedd huffed and responded – barely hiding his pride - that he had been the only one who made it into the treasure room of Queen Milena and that the others owed their lives to his ingenuity. Richard chuckled and even Kahlan smiled a little.

Rachel remembered Kahlan telling her about Zedd stealing the Third Box of Orden from the Queen on the first day she had travelled with them and became curious: 'How did you get into the castle anyway? It must have been difficult…'

Zedd smiled at her: 'See, here is at least one of you who worships my intelligence and cunningness.'

With that, he went into a very lengthy account of how he got into the castle by pretending to be a puppeteer, dramatising every situation and stretching his story until Cara declared in an annoyed tone she would take the first watch, positioning herself at the entrance of the cave, and Rachel had to yawn.

Richard smiled at her, his eyes saying: 'I warned you.'

Although she knew it wasn't meant in any other way than mocking Rachel, the smile Richard gave her threatened to bring up the emotions Kahlan had tried so hard to keep hidden for the last days. It made her stomach turn with sadness and longing. She suddenly felt very exhausted, so she got up and declared she was tired.

Richard's gaze followed her as she unpacked her bedroll and laid down, turning her back towards them. He sighed. He had thought she had come out of her shell before when she smiled about Zedd, but as soon as she saw Rachel looking at him, she had retreated again. Richard was sorry for her and found himself suddenly wishing none of this had happened. But when he looked into Rachel's eyes, he felt the need to stay with her, show her a new life… Zedd had been so right: Nothing was ever easy.

Rachel, feeling uncomfortable, began putting some of the herbs Leanne had given her into a cup and filled it with the hot water from the small kettle that was still hanging over the fire, just to have something to do.

She let the liquid cool down a little before taking a small sip. Rachel tried to smile at Richard reassuringly, but failed miserably. Zedd, for once not completely oblivious to the look Richard gave him, got up, muttering about being tired and that they should just wake him for his watch.

As soon as the Wizard was out of earshot, Richard turned to Rachel, and asked in a soft voice: 'What's wrong?'

Rachel's lips curled into a small smile: 'I can't hide anything from you for long, can I?'

'I'm afraid no.' Richard grinned a little in response, but his gaze soon became stern again. Rachel could see the worry for her reflected in his warm eyes; it was the way he looked at her too often. She was grateful for his caring, but sometimes she felt she was only a burden.

As if reading her thoughts, Richard laid his finger under her chin and gently brought her to look into his eyes before continuing: 'Just tell me. I want to help you. I know I can, and I will, but you have to tell me first, all right?'

Rachel leaned into his touch, closing her eyes for a moment before answering: 'I just… I feel like I'm a burden to you.'  
'Rachel, you would never be a burden. You are a good fighter, and we need every help we can get…' Richard began, but was interrupted by her: 'I know what you want to say, but I meant this in more than one way. Not only have I slowed you down and burdened you with my problems, I also stand between you and Kahlan…'

Rachel swallowed and became silent, waiting for his reaction.

When he took his hand from under her chin, for a small moment, Rachel feared he was angry at her; maybe he would realize that what she said was true, and think she _wanted_ to pull him and Kahlan apart. But when she met his gaze she remembered who she was talking to: there was nothing but understanding and sadness in his warm brown eyes.

'It's not your fault. And I want you to know I am grateful to have you at our side… at _my_ side.' He answered softly, and Rachel felt a weight lift off her shoulders she hadn't realized had been there as he took her hand in his, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. 'Thank you.' she said, but he only smiled a little in response.

His gaze wandered from their intertwined fingers to Rachel's other hand, which was holding the cup and he looked at her questioningly. Rachel recognised his look: 'Leanne gave me those herbs. She was so nice to me.' A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips when she mentioned the innkeeper's wife, but it vanished when she continued: 'She said the herbs would keep the nightmares away.'

Richard nodded understandingly: 'I hope they do.'

'So do I.' Rachel said, leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder as they fell into silence.

When Rachel had finished the tea she got up and began unpacking her bedroll.

Shortly afterwards, Richard laid down, and soon he felt exhaustion taking over. Just before his mind drifted off to sleep, he whispered to the darkness of the cave: 'If anyone is to blame, it's me.'

 

XXX

_She knew where she was and what was coming as soon as the scene in front of her had become clear. Richard was standing there, looking at her. Rachel tried to tell herself it was a dream, and willed her body to wake, but to no effect. Desperate, not wanting to see what she feared most again, she tried to turn away from the scene, but as she did, the voice of a woman, deep and threatening, echoed in her ears: 'No!' She felt a strange force keeping her in place, forcing her to watch his death for what seemed like the millionth time. She struggled, but it only exhausted her until tears ran down her cheeks at the sight of him lying on the ground, dead…_

A few hours after midnight, Rachel woke again with a start, tears in her eyes. Her heart was still beating rapidly. She sat up for a while, trying to understand what had just happened. Judging from her dishevelled sheets, the sweat on her brow and her quickened breathing Rachel knew she had struggled not only in her dream. She felt exhausted, but her mind wouldn't rest. Looking around she found Zedd sitting at the entrance of the cave, keeping watch. She got up, and took her blanket with her before she made her way over to the old wizard.

Hearing footsteps behind him, Zedd turned around as Rachel approached, smiling at her: 'I was just about to wake you up, dear.' He frowned when he got a closer look at Rachel. 'Nightmares again?' Rachel nodded, but before Zedd could say anything, she said: 'Don't worry. I just want some time to think, so I thought I might take your watch. Seeing as you would have woken me soon anyway…'

Zedd didn't look convinced, and it seemed he wanted to object, but the look Rachel gave him made clear she didn't want to talk about it.

'Very well…' He sighed in defeat as he began making his way towards his bedroll. Sometimes, Rachel reminded him a lot of Cara in her stubbornness – and of Kahlan. Just before he reached his bedroll, he said over his shoulder: 'If you need anything, you know you just have to ask. You are not alone in this, dear one.'

'Thank you, Zedd.' Rachel answered, her tone telling him how grateful she was, although she wanted to be alone at the moment.

As Rachel sat down at the entrance of the cave, her blanket wrapped around her, she was glad to be on watch. She thought about the strange force that had held her captive in her own nightmare for a long time; even after she had woken Kahlan to take over watch, and settled in her bedroll once again, Rachel found her thoughts still circling around it, not allowing her to sleep. Only in the early morning hours her eyes fluttered close for a while before Richard woke her.

 

XXX

 

They had walked the whole day, not stopping for lunch. Sunset was still a few hours away, but Zedd was constantly complaining about his growling stomach; seeing they had made good progress, Richard finally relented and the group settled earlier than usual. Kahlan soon left, wanting to search for a nearby river to bathe in.

Not much later, Cara and Richard, too, went off in hopes of a successful hunt.

 

XXX

 

Kahlan, her towel in hand, was just about to make her way down the small hill she had climbed, stretching out her arm to push away the brambles that covered her view when she heard raised voices from the foot of the hill.

'Cara, I _told_ you I don't want to talk about it anymore!' Richard's voice sounded resolute, and Kahlan could make out his struggle to remain calm.

Although she didn't want to eavesdrop, her curiosity got the better of her.

In the short silence that followed Richard's voice, Kahlan quietly knelt down, hiding behind the brambles while - at the same time – pushing a few twigs away to get a glance at Richard and Cara standing a short distance away.

She heard Cara huff before breaking the silence, her voice dripping with sarcasm: 'So, you will just go on like nothing happened and _she_ can wait until _you_ see fit to tell her – how did you call it? – _where your heart truly lies_? And until then – should you decide to stay by her side – you will let the Mother Confessor destroy herself in her fear and doubt? Do you even care about her anymore?'

Kahlan saw Richard shake his head, defeated and annoyed at the same time. He didn't answer… She felt her heart clench painfully in her chest. If Richard didn't even _try_ to dismiss Cara's arguments… the Mord'Sith must have found the truth. The thoughts she had caused her to bite down on her hand to prevent any noise coming out of her throat as she began to sob. She should have known it… She should have known it the moment he had admitted he had feelings for another.

As tears pooled in her eyes, she tried to force herself to think clearly, but she couldn't. She just couldn't see any reason at that moment, not after the last days; not after having him come back to her only to be taken away by another.

Kahlan got up quickly, but silently, and stumbled down the hill she had just climbed.

All she wanted was to get away, to be alone; so she searched for the river she had seen earlier.

When she found it, she undressed quickly and waded out into the water. It was quite cold, but she didn't feel it. Almost mechanically, Kahlan washed her hair before getting out and wrapping herself in the towel she had brought along; all the while tears were rolling down her face.

She sat there, cowered on a small boulder at the river, for a long time, trying to come to terms with the fact the only man she had ever allowed to claim her heart didn't love her anymore, shaken by occasional sobs that she couldn't hold back.

Time became unimportant to her as she sat there, wearing only her undergarments and covered in her clammy towel, her legs pulled up, not realizing how her body temperature was dropping slowly, but steadily, until she lost consciousness, her head dropping between her knees.

 

XXX

 

Richard shook his head, feeling both defeated and annoyed. He was tired of hearing Cara's reproaches. He was frustrated himself for not having been able to find a solution to the dilemma they were in… for not being able to define his feelings. Richard felt his heart clench every time he looked at Kahlan, noticing how she always put on an emotionless mask; only a few times he had seen her true feelings reflected in her actions over the past few days, and these moments made him feel even more frustrated.

'And why do you suddenly care so much about Kahlan?' he spat at Cara in his frustration. He knew he was being unfair, and he also knew the answer the Mord'Sith would give him would leave him defeated, but at the moment he just couldn't hold it in anymore.

Cara's reaction was just as he had expected: ' _You_ ordered me to protect her as if she were you. And that includes protecting her from you, too, if necessary. But maybe I should leave it, seeing you don't seem to care about her anymore like you did when you gave me the order.'

Richard closed his eyes for a moment; Cara's reprimand hadn't lost its effect just because he had expected it.

'I'm sorry, Cara. I didn't mean to snap at you. You know I love Kahlan, but I just…'

He opened his eyes to see something that almost looked like pity in Cara's gaze.

Her voice had softened a little when she answered: 'I know, you love both of them; just _not in the same way_ and you just can't figure it out; didn't you say that?'

Richard nodded gratefully, relieved Cara finally seemed to understand.

'I don't think we'll have any luck trying to hunt something today. We should head back to camp.'

Cara agreed, and they made their way back through the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N;  
> Hey guys,  
> I thought I could leave you with a bit of a cliffhanger for a change, seeing we are getting closer to the finale now.  
> Hope you liked it,  
> Alex


	14. Chapter 14

**_Chapter 13_ **

****

When they came back to their camp, Richard and Cara only found Zedd and Rachel. Richard frowned and gave his grandfather a questioning look, but he shrugged: 'I haven't seen her since she left; a short time before you went off to go hunting.'

His words caused Rachel to look up and meet Richard's gaze. Something was wrong, and they didn't need words to come to the same decision at the same time.

'I will go search for her.' He had barely finished his sentence when Rachel got to her feet and responded: 'I'll come with you.'

Zedd agreed with a short nod, and Richard and Rachel left him and Cara at the camp in case Kahlan came back.

It didn't take Richard long to find her tracks. They followed them until they came to a small hill. Richard recognized it immediately. His heart began to beat faster as he took a few steps up the hill, confirming his suspicions, while Rachel waited at the foot of the hill.

'She came up here, but her tracks are leading down the hill again.' he informed Rachel after reaching her side again.

He looked around for a moment, searching for her trail. Spotting it, he started off, running, following the tracks, which took a few bents to the right or left as if she had walked around without a certain destination. As he ran, a thought formed in Richard's mind that he didn't like at all. He was certain she must have overheard his argument with Cara; he was worried how much she had heard and – more important – that she might have drawn wrong conclusions from what she  _had_ heard. After all, he could judge by the way her tracks looked that she must have stumbled down the hill in a hurry. Richard guessed she hadn't heard everything they had said.

His worry grew as he lost her track several times, running too fast to keep an eye on it.

He growled angrily and turned around, trying to find Kahlan's tracks again for what seemed like the hundredth time as he felt Rachel's hand on his shoulder: 'Don't worry, we'll find her. But you have to slow down. We will only lose more time the more often you lose her tracks.' From the sound of her voice, Richard could tell Rachel was worried, too, but she seemed to keep a clear head. He was thankful that she was there to help him.

'You're right.' he sighed and, finding the right track, started off again at a slower pace, casting a glance on the ground every few steps.

A few minutes later they stepped from behind the trees, only to find a river flowing between stony shores, glittering in the red light that the setting sun was casting on it.

Richard came to a halt at the riverbank. He quickly looked to his right, his eyes following the river flowing away, coming to rest at a boulder a few feet away from them. Someone was sitting on it, her legs pulled up, with her head sunken to her chest. She could have been asleep if her body hadn't been trembling from the cold.

'Please don't …' Richard's voice faltered as he approached her. He had recognized her long dark hair and the towel that was covering her immediately.

Rachel, who had followed him, let out a breathless whisper as they closed the distance to the boulder: 'Kahlan…'

She didn't look up. Richard laid a hand on her back, but she still didn't react. His heart stumbled as he touched her cheek. 'She is freezing. We have to get her back.'

His voice was shaking so much he wasn't sure Rachel had even understood what he had said.

She had. Rachel hurriedly removed her cloak and put it around Kahlan before Richard took her in his arms. He looked down at her and his concern grew: Kahlan's lips were blue, and her face red from the cold; she was still unconscious. Without thinking, he ran off back to their camp, Rachel on his heels.

 

XXX

 

It was late in the night when Kahlan woke, finding herself lying under several warm blankets. She still shivered slightly as she sat up. Looking around she found Richard sitting by her side, his legs crossed and his head resting in his hand.

Since he had settled at her side, his thoughts had been full of self-reproaches. Richard couldn't stop thinking about how he could have been so occupied with his own feelings that he missed seeing her distress. Well, he had seen it, he just hadn't known what to do. After all, all three of them were fighting with their feelings. Hours later he had fallen asleep simply from exhaustion and he had welcomed it, knowing Kahlan was safe. Sleep had taken away his depressed thoughts at least for a while.

However, Richard woke immediately at the sound of her blankets rustling.

'Hey' she croaked as he took her hand. Richard shook his head, the relief in his eyes evident at seeing her awake; his voice however was raspy from exhaustion: 'Kahlan, I am so sorry. I should have done something, anything. But I just…'

Kahlan shook her head, silencing him and laid back down, still feeling tired. Richard settled at her side once more, his eyes never leaving her. After a few minutes of silence he asked: 'Why?'

'I… I heard you talking to Cara… you didn't answer when she accused you about not caring for me anymore. And I thought… maybe she was right and…' her voice trailed off as a tear ran down her cheek.

Richard felt his heart break at her words. He swallowed the lump in his throat: 'Kahlan, you know I still care for you just as I always did. It will never change, do you hear me?  _Never._ I couldn't lose you, Kahlan _._ '

She nodded: 'I'm sorry about what I thought of you. I should have known better. I think it was just too much at that moment. I am sorry.'

'Stop apologizing, Kahlan. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I brought us into this… situation. And I didn't do anything to help you…' Richard caressed her face as he whispered to her, tears in his eyes.

'It's not your fault, Richard. It's no ones fault.' Kahlan answered softly, 'we will find the right path, I'm sure of it.'

Richard felt a little more at ease after her words, although he couldn't yet forgive himself what he had done. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to.

He forced himself to smile at her: 'You should get some rest.'

She nodded, but before she closed her eyes, Richard asked in a whisper: 'Kahlan?'

When she looked into his eyes once more he continued: 'Promise me you will  _never_ do this again.'

'I promise.' Her voice was soft when she answered him, sleep already coming over her.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

**_Chapter 14_ **

****

Rachel lay awake for many hours that night, thinking about Kahlan. She had been scared for her, running as fast as she could to keep up with Richard who had been hurrying through the forest as if Kahlan didn't weigh more than a feather.

When they had finally arrived at the camp, they had covered her in warm blankets immediately before Richard told the others what had happened.

Rachel had sat at Kahlan's side together with Richard until she felt her eyelids flutter close every few minutes and he had told her to get some sleep.

He had seen the guilt edged on Rachel's face clearly every time she looked at Kahlan. Richard could see his own feelings reflected in her eyes; he felt horrible for putting her in this position.

Before she had made her way to her bedroll, he had apologized and told her it wasn't her fault, and Rachel had smiled a little at him, wanting to ease his consciousness and telling him she didn't blame him.

Rachel couldn't forget the view of Kahlan sitting on the boulder, half frozen and unconscious. She kept thinking that it was her fault and in her mind saw the images of what could have happened if they hadn't found Kahlan in time. With a shudder, Rachel realized not even Cara could have brought Kahlan back; the Breath of Life only worked while there was a certain amount of warmth left in the body.

She heard blankets rustling and knew it had to be Kahlan when she heard the Confessor's low voice from the other side of the camp. Richard answered her, but Rachel couldn't make out any words as she was already half asleep, exhaustion following the relief she had felt upon hearing Kahlan, knowing she would be alright.

Richard and Kahlan hadn't stopped talking when sleep took Rachel, and for the first time in days, she didn't have any nightmares.

 

XXX

 

When Kahlan woke, the sun was already shining brightly through the trees. She stretched; her muscles still felt a little tense. Blinking up at the sky, Kahlan realized it had to be almost midday. Appalled, she jumped up and looked around. Richard and Zedd were sitting around the fire place along with Rachel, calmly packing their things. Upon hearing her get up, Richard lifted his gaze from his pack to meet her eyes, a soft smile on his face: 'Good morning.'

When Kahlan continued staring at him, Richard explained: 'We thought we would let you rest a while longer after…', he hesitated, searching for the right words, 'after yesterday.'

'Maybe you are right.'

Kahlan relaxed a little and, when she saw the guilt in his eyes, added in a softer tone: 'Thank you.'

Richard smiled at her once again, feeling a little more at ease, and they fell into a silence where Kahlan felt she didn't ever want to look away from his eyes again.

After a few seconds, she went to searching for her pack anyway, not wanting to lose anymore time. Richard, however, got up and stopped her by putting a hand to her shoulder and gently turning her around: 'Don't worry. We can leave in a few minutes; I've got your things packed already. But you should eat something first. Last night was exhausting enough.'

Kahlan nodded but took only a little of the bread he offered her as they sat down together. She didn't feel very hungry, her thoughts turning back to the things that had happened the night before. Richard furrowed his brow, but he wanted to give her some time to think and decided he should take both their minds to an easier subject:

'The weather is great today. We might be able to walk a little longer into the evening if nothing comes in our way.'

Kahlan swallowed the small piece of bread with difficulty, but smiled a little at him nonetheless, not wanting to worry him any more: 'Sounds good.'

He frowned, leaning forward a little to study her face: 'Are you sure you're all right?'

'I'm fine, don't worry.' She saw in his eyes that he didn't believe her, but Richard didn't push the matter, not wanting to force her into talking if she didn't want to. He couldn't blame her for keeping silent; he understood what she felt better than anyone else.

When Kahlan had finished eating, he got up and handed her her pack, squeezing her hand reassuringly for a moment before taking the lead along with Cara.

 

XXX

 

It wasn't long after they had set out that Rachel approached Kahlan, walking next to her in silence for a while.

'Are you feeling better?' As soon as the words left her lips, Rachel cursed inwardly for their stupidity. What kind of answer did she expect from Kahlan after what had happened the last days?

Kahlan saw the worry on the other woman's face, and could tell from the tone of her voice that she was genuinely concerned.

'I'm… better.' She smiled a little at Rachel.

This however didn't seem to calm Rachel's worries; she hung her head when she answered in a low voice: 'I'm sorry.' _For everything_ , she added in her thoughts.

Kahlan swallowed, but found that - despite the fact she had a good reason to be angry at Rachel – she didn't want her to feel guilty; she, just like Richard and herself, couldn't be blamed for what had happened. Kahlan laid a comforting hand on Rachel's shoulder and repeated the same words she had said to Richard: 'It's not your fault this happened. I'm sure we will find a way.'

Rachel lifted her head to look into Kahlan's eyes; seeing no hint of anger or jealousy in them she couldn't believe how generous Kahlan was to her, even after she had realized Richard cared for her.

She smiled a little and – to Kahlan's and also her own surprise – drew the Confessor into a hug.

'Thank you for being such a good friend to me. I hope I will be able to repay your generosity one day.'

Before Kahlan could reply, however, the metallic ring of the Sword of Truth filled the air.

Richard had stopped dead in his tracks a few paces ahead of the two women and drawn his sword.

Cara, who had been walking at the rear along with Zedd, immediately drew her agiels, carefully watching their surroundings.

Kahlan quickly grabbed her daggers, while Rachel drew her sword, the two women standing back to back.

Then, from somewhere between the trees to their right, four dacras came flying; two directed at Richard and the rest aimed at Kahlan.

Richard deflected them while Kahlan was able to duck, the silver weapons missing her head by mere inches.

Before they knew what was happening, they were surrounded by more than a dozen Sisters of the Dark, all closing in around them in a deadly circle.

Richard and the others quickly stood together, forming a ring in order to keep all their opponents in view and unable from sneaking up on them from behind.

The Sisters came at them in irregular patterns, trying to separate them. Four of them attacked Kahlan, while three others tried to take down Richard.

To her horror, Rachel realized the plan of the Sisters was working. After a few minutes she and Cara had already been forced to fight a few meters to Richard's left side, leaving Kahlan and Zedd at his right side, also a good distance away from him.

Rachel had just been able to disarm one of the Sisters when she felt a strange prickling in her neck. Turning around she found another Sister stepping out from behind the trees. When she lifted her hand, Rachel only saw a silver glint as the Sister threw her dacra, aiming for the man who was fighting with his back to her…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there,  
> well, as you can see we are in the middle of the finale. The next chapter will be longer than usual, and also the last 'regular' one. There is only the epilogue left after that.  
> Hope you enjoyed it and looking forward to your reviews,  
> Alex


	16. Chapter 16

**_Chapter 15_ **

****

She saw it coming, but it seemed as if time had slowed down: the silver dacra was flying towards Richard, but she couldn't warn him; the Sister he was currently fighting would stab him in a heartbeat if he turned around. Images of her visions overlapped her sight as Rachel ran forward to stop the dacra from killing Richard. As she turned to look at the silver weapon making its way towards her, she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her left side; her vision blurred as she dropped to her knees.

Richard only heard her scream behind him and spun around as soon as he had killed the Sister that had attacked him.

'Rachel, no!' His scream echoed over the clearing when he saw Rachel on her knees. He hurried to reach her. The dacra had cut across her side, a few inches over her waist, leaving a long, strongly bleeding gash. The Sister who had thrown the dacra was quickly taken down by Cara, who had heard his cry.

The pain that shot through her was almost unbearable and Rachel, panting heavily, collapsed in Richard's arms the moment he put them around her. Richard's expression was full of shock at seeing her in so much pain and for a moment he forgot that the fight was still going on around them. Zedd's cry brought him back to his senses just in time to turn around and block another flying dacra with his sword. Their opponent was blown off her feet by Zedd's magic.

'Zedd, you have to help her!' Richard's voice was full of fear, but his grandfather was by their side in an instant. 'Go! I will look after her.' Zedd's voice sounded distant in his ears, but Richard knew he had to fight if there was supposed to be any chance of saving Rachel. Although his vision was blurred, he was wielding the sword with deadly precision, taking down the Sisters of the Dark easily, one after another. As soon as the last one fell, he hurried back to Rachel. She was lying on the ground, her eyes closed, struggling to breathe. Zedd was kneeling next to her; with his hand on her brow he was muttering incantations.

Cara was standing a few paces away, next to Kahlan who was sitting on the ground. In her face Richard saw a mixture of fear, sadness and slowly fading hope. Then he saw that Rachel's wound was still bleeding.

'Why haven't you healed her?' he snapped at his grandfather. Zedd furrowed his brow before answering hesitantly: 'I was able to take the pain away but…'

'But what?' Richard asked anxiously.

Zedd sighed deeply: 'I am sorry, Richard. It must be because of the poison that is still in her body… I can't heal her. I fear not even the Breath of Life will work.'

 

XXX

 

It only took this few words to render him speechless. Although Zedd wouldn't say anymore, they all saw that this wound would be deadly. 'Richard…' He heard Kahlan's voice, calling his name, trying to comfort him… he felt her hand searching his, but Richard backed away. He fell on his knees and grabbed Rachel's hand as if he could heal her just by holding her. Tears began to run down his face as he called her name, his eyes fixed on her pale face. He just couldn't believe what had happened to her after everything she had already had to go through.

Kahlan was kneeling next to Zedd now, helping him to dress the wound as tightly as possible in order to stop the bleeding. She did her best to hide her emotions as she looked down at the unconscious woman. Kahlan had been angry at Rachel for a time, but she had become a good friend, someone she could talk to without having to hide what she felt. Seeing Rachel lying here, Kahlan pitied her for her fate.

Kahlan swallowed the lump in her throat: 'Richard, we have to get to the next village. We can't stay out here any longer.' Her shaking voice reached his ears, but it took him a few moments to realize what he had to do.

When Kahlan's words finally got through, Richard carefully took Rachel in his arms and followed Zedd, who was quickly leading the way.

The hour they needed to reach the next village seemed to Richard like one of the longest he had ever lived through. Every now and then, Rachel would stir in his arms and he lowered his gaze to look into her eyes, silently telling her she was safe. His eyes didn't leave her face until she lost consciousness again.

The group walked in complete silence.

 

XXX

 

When they finally entered the nearest inn, Richard immediately went upstairs with Rachel in his arms. Ignoring the suspicious glances of the other guests, he left the task of explaining and renting a room to the others. Richard chose the next free room he could find and gently lowered the still unconscious woman on the bed. Seeing how pale her face had become, he instinctively looked down to where the wound was. The moment he did, his expression was filled with pain and fear again: the bandages were soaked with blood; the bleeding had obviously become worse from travelling.

'Richard, how is she?' Kahlan's voice coming from the door made him spin around and he let out a breath when he recognized her.

Richard swallowed the lump in his throat and whispered: 'Worse than before. The travelling …' He trailed off into silence and the pain in his eyes made Kahlan feel even more terrible. She couldn't bear to see him in such pain.

At that moment Rachel stirred and Richard grabbed her hand again in an instant. Kahlan frowned at the sight of Richard ignoring her completely. She knew why he was fixed on Rachel, and understood his need to help her. Usually, her reason had always been able to suppress hatred or sadness, be it just or unjust; it was part of being a Confessor, a part of her duty. Still, Kahlan found that with Richard, this never seemed to be the case.

'I will get Zedd to bring some new bandages.' Her voice was thick with emotions, which caused Richard to turn and look at her.

'Kahlan…' he began in an apologetic tone, but she shook her head. Seeing him worry about Rachel, she had come to realize what Richard was doing at the moment was not about love, or at least not about the same kind he felt for her. Since the day they first met, protecting people had been the most important thing to him. He was doing nothing else right now.

Looking at it like this gave her the chance to convince him she was alright: 'Don't worry. If you need anything, I am here.' Normally, Richard would have objected and wanted to help her, but the finality in her voice told him she meant what she said. He was grateful for her understanding and nodded before watching her leave and turning his attention back to Rachel.

Richard gently stroked her forehead as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

He opened his mouth; he wanted to say something, anything to comfort her, but Rachel spoke first, her voice barely more than a whisper: 'You don't have to lie to me. I know it … that I will die.'

With tears in his eyes Richard shook his head: 'No, no, you will survive.'

'Richard,' she whispered, 'I heard what Zedd said.'

Unable to speak, Richard grabbed both of her hands. Rachel closed her eyes for a moment before she continued: 'I… I am glad I could help you. Just… stay with me, please?' Richard couldn't look in her eyes, so he fixed his gaze on their entwined fingers. Tears were still rolling down his cheeks as he answered: 'Always.'

Rachel swallowed and nodded slowly. Her eyes were about to fall close again as a familiar pain starting at her shoulder shot through her. Rachel would have screamed but she was too weak to do so; instead she gasped for air. His voice sounded far too loud in her head, although he was almost whispering: 'What is it? Should I call Zedd?'

'No, it's just my shoulder again.' She answered slowly, but before she could say any more another wave of pain shot through her. Rachel felt Richard's hands grabbing hers even tighter. As soon as the pain was gone, exhaustion took over. Just before Rachel lost consciousness again she heard his voice whispering to her: 'It's alright. I am here.'

 

XXX

 

The next time she awoke it was almost completely dark in the room. Not realizing where she was immediately, panic shot through her. Rachel tried to sit up, but felt two strong hands holding her down. 'Rachel' Richard's soft voice brought back her memories and she relaxed at his touch.

'How long?' she asked, trying to make out his face in the twilight. She could hear his voice slightly trembling as he answered: 'A few hours. It's almost midnight.' Rachel could make out fear in his voice; he had been afraid she wouldn't wake up again… She wanted to say something, but her throat was too dry. As Rachel turned her head she saw a steaming cup standing on the bedside table. Richard recognized her look: 'Are you thirsty?' Rachel nodded.

He put his arms around Rachel and helped her into a sitting position. She ignored the sharp pain that shot through her and focused on his touch, as he quickly readjusted the cushions under her head so she could sit up straight. Then he took the cup and turned it in his hands to test the temperature before bringing it to her lips. Rachel reached for the cup, laying her hands on his and took a small sip. The tea warmed her insides, and Rachel took another mouthful of the hot liquid a few moments later.

When the cup was almost empty, she closed her eyes again. Richard could see a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Seeing this he couldn't help but smile too.

'What?' he asked, chuckling slightly despite the situation they were in.

Rachel exhaled: 'Well, _I_ went out to protect _you_ and here you are taking care of me like I was some old woman…' Rachel didn't get the chance to finish her sentence: she suddenly felt his warm breath on her face as he interrupted her: 'I love you.'

Rachel knew how he had meant it; she knew he would never mean it in the way he would say these words to Kahlan and she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He had said it to comfort her, to tell her he cared for her and it was enough to help her.

He lightly kissed her forehead. Richard felt the desperate urge to show her how much she meant to him. There was so much joy in life that she had never seen, and now the sadness grabbed him again as he moved away from her, realizing she would never get to live the life she deserved. 'You saved me…' he began, but Rachel interrupted him, a content smile on her lips: 'No, Richard. It was _you_ who saved _me_. You showed me a way out when I couldn't find it by myself. I can't thank you enough.'

He had to smile although tears were still in his eyes. They just stayed like this for a long while; Richard holding her hands, and Rachel looking into these brown eyes she loved so much. After a time her eyes fluttered close again, and in the silence that followed Richard heard Cara's light footsteps outside the door, but he just couldn't tear his gaze away from Rachel's face. Just as he reached out to stroke her cheek the door behind him opened and he turned around reluctantly, getting up from his chair. He threw a questioning look at the Mord'Sith.

'Zedd sent me to look after her;' Cara nodded towards Rachel before continuing, 'He said you should get some sleep.'

Richard only shook his head: 'I am not tired.' Cara raised an eyebrow: 'I told the Wizard you would say that, but he insisted on sending me. Look, you can lie down over there and I will wake you when she wakes up again.'

Richard was still reluctant to leave Rachel's side, but he knew it would be no good starting to argue with Cara, or Zedd. He went over to the bed on the other side of the room and lay down not even bothering to take off his boots. Cara sat down on the chair next to Rachel's bed.

Sleep took him quickly as he still had his gaze fixed on Rachel.

Cara sat there for a long time; after a while she looked sideways over her shoulder to see Richard fast asleep.

When her gaze returned to Rachel the words just came out of her mouth before Cara could think about it:

'I… I am sorry for treating you like I did. I should have accepted your feelings as well as his sooner…' Cara trailed off into silence, looking down at Rachel who had her eyes still closed. _Why did I say this?_ Cara asked herself, but she quickly realized Rachel had become a friend to her, and as strange as it sounded, she didn't want her to die before having apologized for her behaviour.

The Mord'Sith nearly jumped when she saw Rachel opening her eyes, a smile on her face that had nothing to do with being content that the other woman had apologized. 'I think of you as a friend, too, Cara. Thank you.' Rachel whispered in a husky voice. Cara allowed herself a small, genuine smile before tilting her head towards Richard: 'Should I wake him?' 'No, it's alright. I am feeling a little better. I am just… tired…' Rachel's eyes closed again.

 

XXX

 

It was in an hour, when the night was darkest and Kahlan had taken Cara's place at Rachel's side, that Richard woke with a start. A growing feeling of uneasiness had woken him, and it seemed strangely familiar, although he couldn't quite place it. Richard glanced over at Kahlan.

When she heard him stir she turned her head and gave him a tired smile, telling him everything was alright. Richard got up anyway, but the moment he was on his feet his eyes darted towards the darker corner of the room. A dark figure was standing there and Richard instinctively drew his sword which he had picked off the floor next to his bed. Kahlan jumped up, drawing her daggers instantly, her eyes fixed on the figure. 'Who are you? Show yourself.' Richard growled, pointing the sword towards the intruder.

The figure stepped forward and a ray of moonlight illuminated her features. Richard heard Kahlan inhaling sharply as he raised his voice, speaking in a threatening tone: 'Shota.'

The witch woman stood there, a small smile on her face, and took a few moments before answering: 'It's good to see you well and alive, Seeker.'

'What do you want?' Richard's voice displayed his impatience, while he still held his sword pointed towards Shota.

She didn't respond and glanced at the still sleeping Rachel instead. 'She saved your live, didn't she?'

Richard felt anger rising inside of him, but he forced his voice to stay calm when he asked: 'How do you know that?'

Shota turned to look him in the eyes and answered: 'If I were you, I wouldn't threaten the people who saved your life. So put down your sword.'

Richard growled: 'Explain yourself before I loose my patience. If I remember rightly, it was Rachel who saved my life, not you.'

Shota gave him another smile: 'You disappoint me, Seeker. I would have thought you could figure it out yourself. You can thank me for being alive, because _I_ sent _her_ ', she pointed at Rachel, 'the visions of your death. It was the only way to change the future. I saw your death, but also that a young woman would cross your path, and that she would do anything to protect you. So, I sent her the visions to make her step into the way and take the dacra that would have killed you.'

Richard barely saw Kahlan's body tense as he gritted his teeth and took a step towards Shota, bringing the point of his sword dangerously close to her throat. As much as he hated it, everything made sense: Rachel's nightmares, the banelings chasing her even though she had been only one woman, the Keeper giving his minions the time they needed to catch her…

The pain in his voice was as evident as if the witch had made _him_ suffer through the horrible visions Rachel had had when he hissed: ' _You_. How dare you do that? Haven't you realized how much pain you already caused us? It was _your_ prophecy that made Kahlan leave me, and in turn Denna caught and tortured me up to the point were I almost killed the woman I love most. And now you saw to it that Rachel protected me, and let her die in my stead? Do you even care about what she went through?'

The tip of Richard's sword was now pressed against Shota's neck, and drops of blood were trickling down her skin as he stood with his face mere inches from hers.

The smile on Shota's face was gone, but she still spoke with a certain confidence when she answered: 'Time to be honest with yourself, Seeker. Where would you be now if it weren't for me? You would probably have died in Kelabra months ago. As for the Prophecy about the Confessor betraying you… I already told you: something that is written in the Halls of Prophecy cannot be averted.

And now you are alive because of this girl. I will only ask once, and I think you know the true answer to this question: If you are to choose between the life of a young woman or the life of a man who has already saved the world once – and is trying with all his might to do so again, even if only by protecting the Mother Confessor -; which one is to be saved?'

The witch's eyes darted towards Kahlan while she spoke, and for a moment Kahlan felt almost thankful for Shota having saved Richard, but then she looked down at Rachel, her face pale and her eyes closed, she felt anger rising inside of her chest; anger and hatred towards everything that had caused all of them to fall into so much misery. 'And who are you to decide who is to live and who is to die?' she hissed, and for a moment, her eyes swirled with black. Richard turned to look at Kahlan, and knew immediately what was to come.

'Kahlan…' he struggled to keep his voice calm as he called her name, trying to stop her from getting into the Con Dar. Kahlan looked at him and for a few long moments he thought he couldn't get through to her, but then her eyes turned back to their normal blue. She let out a gasp as she gazed at the corner where Shota had stood moments before.

The witch had taken the distraction as a chance to escape and vanished as silently as she had come while Richard had not been looking.

He let out a frustrated sigh before approaching Kahlan. Richard took her hand in his and whispered: 'Thank you.' She smiled sadly and shook her head: 'You know as well as I do that what Shota did was wrong. No one should judge over the worth of a live, no matter how much the person means to us.' A single tear ran down her cheek, and Richard embraced her. He felt he could only guess the storm that was going on inside her heart: she had just realized how close the only man she ever loved had come to death, but instead of being relieved he had survived, she grieved for Rachel, who had become a real friend to her.

After a while, Richard whispered softly into her ear: 'Maybe you should get some sleep.' Kahlan nodded, and made her way to the bed, feeling more tired than ever.

Richard watched her lie down and fall asleep before sitting down next to Rachel, taking her cold hand in his again and waiting for her to wake up, or for the morning to come… he didn't know himself.

 

XXX

 

The first thing that reached her ears was the faint song of some birds outside the window. Rachel half-opened her eyes. Kahlan was sitting by her side; she looked tired but smiled a little nonetheless when she saw Rachel awake.

From the lighting in the room Rachel guessed it might only be an hour before dawn. She gritted her teeth as a new wave of pain from her shoulder shot through her.

'What is it?' Kahlan sounded almost more worried than Richard had.

From the corner of her eye Rachel could see him standing at the window, looking out. At the sound of Kahlan's voice he turned around and, seeing that she was in pain, immediately was by Rachel's side. 'Your shoulder again?' he asked with concern in his voice. Rachel only nodded.

As Kahlan took a step back and went over to the window Rachel whispered: 'Can I talk to you? Alone?'

Richard raised an eyebrow, but addressed the Confessor: 'Kahlan, I will stay with Rachel. You must be tired…' 'You are right.' She nodded knowingly, and left the room after taking Rachel's hand in hers for a moment. As soon as the door closed behind her, Rachel took his hand.

Richard's heart jumped when he felt how cold her hand was. 'Your hand… I will get a warmer blanket…' he said, but Rachel interrupted him softly: 'Richard… It's alright. There is something I need to tell you before…' she swallowed, but didn't finish the sentence.

Instead, Rachel went on: 'I have been thinking about this for a few days now and I am sure it's true… I love you, and I always did, but… you two are meant for each other; I know it. Our love is… _different_. I don't know how to say it, but I am sure you know what I mean. I am so grateful for everything you did. And I love you with all my heart; but she loves you more, and I think you know that you do, too.'

Richard almost couldn't speak anymore when he realized that deep inside, he had known it, too. He had realized the difference between his love for Rachel and Kahlan. Rachel was like a sister to him, and he loved her, but Kahlan would always hold his heart. He wished he had found the truth sooner: 'Rachel… I am sorry… this is all my fault.'

'Don't be. I don't blame you; I just wanted you to know I think that Kahlan is the right one. And I am sure you will find a way to be together.'

Overwhelmed, Richard bent down to kiss her, his tears mingling with hers; it wasn't a lovers' kiss - although he tried to show her how much she meant to him - it was rather a ritual: a ritual to say goodbye. As they broke apart, Richard read a silent plea in her eyes: 'Stay with me.' She didn't need to say it aloud for him to understand it. Richard lay down on his side next to her, pulling Rachel into his protective embrace and they just stayed like that until the first rays of sunlight fell on their faces.

'Can you open the window? I would like a bit of fresh air.' she whispered into his ear after a while.

Richard slowly got up, careful not to hurt her while she shifted to lie on her back, and went over to the window to open it. Just as he did, a small sparrow landed on the windowsill, tilting its head towards Rachel. Richard looked down at the bird and was surprised: It was missing a claw. He smiled: 'Rachel, look.' He caught the sparrow in his hands, and - to his wonder - it didn't resist. Richard went over to Rachel, but the small bird escaped, flying out of the window, as his hands fell to his sides.

She was lying there, her eyes closed, the ghost of a smile on her face and as Richard took her hands in his he felt they were colder than before. 'No...' he said in barely more than a whisper, as an overwhelming feeling of helplessness came over him. Richard laid his trembling fingers on her wrist, hoping beyond hope to feel her pulse, but the seconds went by and he still felt nothing. Tears began to fall as he dropped to his knees, calling her name over and over, his voice broken.

He wanted to bury his face in his hands, but he just couldn't tear his gaze away from her. Richard just sat there, trying to comprehend what had happened, but he felt his heart refuse to accept what his mind told him: 'She's dead. There is nothing you can do.' He heard his mind whispering the words until he was unable to hear it anymore and cried out in pain, his hand gripping Rachel's even more tightly, not willing to let her go. _After everything she had been through…_

He heard a soft knock on the door. He didn't answer and his companions came in quietly; apparently they had heard his cries.

Kahlan placed a hand on his shoulder while tears were rolling down her cheeks. Zedd had dark rings under his eyes, grief written over his face and even Cara seemed to be truly sad.

Time seemed to stand still as they watched the sun rise higher into the sky through the window.

After a while – none of them could tell how long they had stood there in this room – Richard raised his voice, and Kahlan was shocked how hollow it sounded: 'We should bury her.' Then, slowly, he took Rachel's body in his arms and carried her outside. As they walked through the streets, Richard barely saw the villagers and his friends. He only looked down at Rachel as if she might wake at any moment; her face looked so peaceful that she could have been asleep.

Zedd and Cara had taken the lead, and behind Richard Kahlan walked in her white Confessor's dress. The villagers all turned their gaze towards them as they realized that the woman the Seeker was carrying was dead. Many bowed their heads to express their sympathy.

Once outside the town Richard led them towards a nearby hill. The outskirts of the forest they had come from reached its foot, so the hill was surrounded by trees. However, there were no trees growing on the top; only soft green grass. Richard gently lied down Rachel's body and sat next to her, her hands in his, while the others built a funeral pile.

 

XXX

 

'May the spirits light your way through the Land of the Shadow to the Halls of Eternal Peace.' Kahlan's shaking voice seemed to echo over the hill where no other noise could be heard as she walked up to the funeral pile and set it aflame with a torch. Richard had his gaze still fixed on Rachel's face, holding back the tears when Kahlan stepped back. As she stood next to him, she took his hand, but said nothing.

Richard was grateful for her presence.

Somewhere ahead in the trees, they could hear a lone sparrow chirping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> so, this was the last 'normal' chapter, but of course not the end of the story. There is still an epilogue coming up, so I'll save the 'Thank you's and everything that goes along with it for the A/N on the mentioned epilogue.  
> I don't know how often I revised this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed it,  
> Alex


	17. Chapter 17

**_Epilogue_ **

****

When the fire had burned low, they turned away and made their way down the hill in silence.

Once they were at the foot of the hill, Richard took out the compass and they followed it away from the village. He didn't know how, but he managed to lead them on for hours, although all he wanted was to lie down and cry. After the shock of Rachel's death had started to subside a little, he had begun to feel responsible for it; she had died saving him. It was something he had wished he would never have to experience. Since the day Zedd and Kahlan told him they would die for him, it had been one of his biggest fears to loose someone he cared for in this way.

His thoughts were stumbling between the guilt he felt about Rachel's death and the guilt he felt for putting Kahlan in such misery. How could he ever forgive himself what had happened?

Only when the sun began to set Richard spoke aloud, his voice raspy from both physical and mental exhaustion and the lack of use: 'We can't go much further. We should make camp over there.' He gestured towards a clearing a few paces ahead of them. Cara and Zedd went over to start a fire and unpack their bedrolls while Kahlan left saying she would gather some firewood. Richard watched her disappear into the forest and decided to follow her. He just had to tell her how sorry he was; even if he felt it wasn't enough he wouldn't leave her out of his sight again - assumed she would give him the chance to help her.

'I'm going to hunt', he said. Zedd realized what he was up to and gave him a short nod.

 

XXX

 

Richard didn't have trouble following Kahlan's tracks. After a few minutes he found her, sitting on a rock. She hadn't gathered any firewood but was silently staring ahead. When she heard him approaching she quickly turned her head. Realizing it was Richard, Kahlan turned away from him again without a word.

'Can I talk to you?' he asked, standing a few feet away from her. Kahlan nodded slightly, so Richard went over to sit next to her on the rock.

They sat in silence for a while until eventually Kahlan spoke: 'I am sorry, Richard. I can imagine how hard this was for you.' Her trembling voice showed how hard it was for her to say these words to the only man she ever loved.

However, Richard also knew Kahlan meant what she said. He felt so grateful and desperately wanted to tell her that he knew how hard it had been for her, that he was sorry…but also that Rachel had been right when she said his love for Kahlan was and would always be stronger.

'Kahlan…' he began, but hesitated when he saw the tears in her eyes. Determined, Richard swallowed the lump in his throat: 'You know I loved her like a sister…'

She turned her head to look directly into his eyes and he saw the pain, the fear of losing him. He continued: 'Do you know what the last thing she said to me was?' Kahlan shook her head and for a moment feared what she would hear, but then she saw the look in his eyes and knew he could never say anything that would hurt her.

'She said as much as she… as  _we_ cared for each other, your love for me was stronger, and that I knew my love for you was stronger, too. And she was right.'

'Richard…' Kahlan took in a sharp breath, but he went on: 'Please, Kahlan, let me finish. Rachel was right, and I wanted you to know I am so sorry for not realizing it earlier. I can only imagine what you went through and I understand if you want to leave… ' he trailed off, and looked into her blue eyes, waiting for some sign, hoping beyond hope that Kahlan would stay with him.

Kahlan didn't respond as her heart clenched: She felt torn between her love and the anger that suddenly came to the surface… She loved Richard with all her heart, but she just couldn't go on as if nothing had happened, as if Rachel had never existed and there had never been a time when she thought she had lost his love.

Kahlan, for the first time since they had met, wasn't sure what to say. A part of her wanted to yell at him, tell him she couldn't forgive him for what she had went through the last days.

The other part in her wanted nothing more to fall into his embrace and tell him that she knew he was honest and that his heart had and would always belong to her, that there was no one he loved more and that she forgave him. She tried to sound calm when she finally spoke: 'I won't leave you, I never could. But you can't expect me to go back as if nothing had happened.'

'I understand.' Richard swallowed, but nodded slowly and got up, a lost look in his eyes. She could see it: He was frightened that she would never love him again like she had before all of this had happened, because he had no doubts about his love for her. And she just couldn't find words to comfort him; not yet, not after everything that had happened. So Kahlan stayed while watching him walk away.

 

XXX

 

It was already dark when she finally made her way back to the camp. Richard had taken first watch, sitting on a log and staring into the forest. When he heard her approaching, he gave her a slight nod before turning away again. As hard as it was for him to keep some distance, he didn't want to push her into talking or a decision.

Kahlan let out a small sigh when she lied down and, shivering slightly, pulled the blankets up to her chin. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn't find any sleep. She turned around restlessly, and after a while found herself lying on her side, watching Richard who still had his back turned on her. Feeling her stare, he turned around and got up. Richard walked over to Kahlan and knelt down beside her, a look of understanding and empathy in his eyes.

'Can't sleep?'

Kahlan shook her head, and he gently stroked her cheek. She didn't know why, but his touch and the look in his eyes was enough to break her mask, suddenly bringing all the pain she had felt to the surface, and soon tears were running down her cheeks. Richard pulled her into an embrace, trying to comfort her.

'I was afraid I would loose you.' was all she managed to say between sobs. Richard held her more tightly and fought against the tears in his own eyes as he whispered: 'I am sorry, Kahlan. So sorry for putting you through all of this, for not facing these problems sooner. You will never loose me.'

She looked up at him, and he gently wiped her tears away. Kahlan would have believed him even without looking into his eyes. She buried her face in his chest and answered: 'You know, even though it was terrible, I am grateful it happened. Rachel… she deserved a better life, but, despite what happened to her, I think she was really happy here with us… with you.' Kahlan felt more tears run down her cheeks when she continued: 'And she made me a gift I can never repay. She gave you back to me. I… don't know what I would do without you…I… I love you.'

Richard smiled despite the tears in his eyes. They sat in silence for a few moments, until Kahlan pulled out of his embrace a little to look into his eyes, her voice almost pleading: 'Richard, we… we should never forget her. We will remember her.'

He nodded, his voice thick with emotions, as he drew Kahlan closer again: 'Always.'

The End

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Hey guys,  
> so, this was the last chapter. I want to thank you all for staying with this story, for liking it, or for giving it another chance... whatever it was :)  
> Last but not least, thank you to my two best friends who took the time to read this story - and all the 'new' versions after countless (and I really mean countless) revisions - (I hope you will read this some time ;)) I started writing this more than five months ago and without you, I would never have believed in myself enough to publish this - hugging you both for your help :)  
> See you for the next story (hopefully ;))  
> Alex


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